i know im a strong woman but i'm fed up with doing it all alone.

[poshsinglemum]

I even gave birth without a partner.

All I want is for some bloke to take care of me.

Sometimes I love being independent but it would have been nice to get some support when pregnant and giving birth.

I've lost all faith in love. I think I am unlovable.

I think people assume i'm ok but why is it me that always ends up hurt?

Well i was always the girl without a dance partner at the school disco so i guess nothing has changed.

I feel like I have had to becoem a hardened feminist in order to survive or as an emotional shield. Great. Bet that makes emeven less attractive than I already am.

I have no faith in men. I think I hate them. I don't ant to but they don't like me so...

I am posting a lot as I am unhappy.

Posh - sound like you're having a bad day there!

Am also in the man hating stage of life, dont care if they dont like me, i do!
Had to spend a long time licking my wounds but all your negative thoughts I had whilst married, feel much better about myself without him but cant take all the credit I had FANTASTIC support, professional, medical friends and family.

Take the focus off them and put it back on you, ask dr for some help, counselling as well as pills, health visitor can help, lots of helplines etc and of cause MN.

Take care x

oh posh. i think i could have written your post 2 years ago.

i went on dating sites but couldn't believe that anyone that messaged me was genuine. I wanted someone to come and take care of me for a change. i wanted teh knight in shining armour. but i had been hurt so many times that the defence mechanisms were just too strong. i pushed them all away.

I can tell you that i met someone, totally out of the blue. someone who fought hard enough to break down those defences. someone who has made me very very happy.

You are not unlovable. but i really do believe that until you can feel love for yourself, to realise and accept your faults but to love yourself anyone,....you can't expect anyone else to.
you have to learn that none of us are perfect but that you are worthy of love and that it is not a weakness to want help and support.

or i could be talking bollox. im not sure myself anymore

hi posh, I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time at the moment, I did wonder if you were ok as the tone of your threads has really changed.

I think a key issue is that you want someone to take care of you, but you need to take care of yourself first. If you think you hate men, that might be coming across and scaring people off. It's a lot for a new partner to take on, the responsibility of undoing all this hurt.

And, no, you're really not unloveable, you're just unhappy.

PSM I feel like that as well sometimes.

However it really is important to try and be happy alone too. It took me a long long time, but now I genuinely am, so that means when I do go on dates I feel more picky and cautious and not desperate which is great.

Also I have so many friends whose husbands are rubbish at doing much at all. Just being 'with' someone doesn't mean you'll also get the support etc. IFYSIM.

You will meet someone again, just keep the faith

PSM, I was widowed just over 2 years ago. I gave birth on my own too after my OH died. I too am fed up with doing it all on my own. Sometimes the not having someone to share my worries with, cuddle up to in bed, having someone who loves me for me, someone who loves my kids too, gets a bit much, to be honest. Oh, and having to do all the heavy work etc. etc.

But the thought of online dating turns my stomach. So I just try to keep on an even keel and be content. But those down days really get you down....

I SO know what you mean!