How is one meant to deal with it when it's just not allowed?

[Flightattendant]

I have a bit of a problem and could use some straightforward advice please.

I have had a bit of a thing about someone I know for well, getting on for a year now I suppose since the inklings of it.

He's lovely, and very nice, and definitely unavailable. We talk most days because I see him at school...our kids are in the same class.

I have tried avoiding him, and it doesn't really work...well, it's impossible. Tried convincing myself he isn't very nice really, etc etc...all the things I can think of that might put me off. It's still there, and it's quite bad at the moment.

Currently I'm just trying not to think about him but clearly this is making it worse!

I know he is unsuitable, it's inappropriate and I ought to be strung up just for thinking about it, but my stomach turns over when I see him and I need, basically, to get a grip. I am not a teenager, but it feels like it sometimes.

Please...your strategies for coping with this situation. I'm not about to try it on, and don't think he is interested in me for a second, luckily! but it is very difficult to feel this way about someone and see them every day. I had hoped, and expected, that it would fade out after a month or two as they usually do, but it hasn't happened.

I don't need to be told it's stupid and potentially disastrous...I know this. I just need some help really to get myself away from thinking about him.

Thanks.

you need to concentrate your energies on finding someone who is available!!

wasting almost a year of emotional energy on this is a distraction from getting out thre and finding someone

you need to start believinfg you deserve someone decent and kind ±!

Thanks Lulu,

I have been looking on a dating site and a few people have messaged me, and I have responded but not found I really click with anyone so far...

I haven't been holding him up as my 'safety net' and have been thinking about other poeple in that time as well,

but seeing this man every day makes it very easy to get too attached.
I have tried sitting at the other end of the fence, talking to other people instead but he is always there. He often stares at me, too, which does nOT help.

have got to go and get ds, which means I'll see him...I do a good job of pretending not to stare! but it is quite painful.

Will this just go away by itself?

It feels very powerful,
but I am sure that's just me being an emotional vacuum iyswim

IME these things definetely fade over time, or there's the possibility he'll do or say something that'll put you right off! Honestly, I've seen this happen a few times.

Aaaw flight, its crap isn't it?

I dont really have any advice - its so hard to stop once its started, but you know this cant happen and that really is the biggest thing.

It will pass, give it time and give yourself a rap over the knuckles every time you let your mind wander.

There'll come a point when you wonder what on earth you were ever thinking, you'll also find someone far wmore wonderful than he is, someone available and who thinks your flipping fantastic x

You need something else to think about. INternet dating, etc is an ok idea but it would be even better to find something other than 'relationships' to get all passionate about. Is there a charity or political cause you care about? do you want to play a musical instrument or take up a sport or hobby of some kind?

Thankyou all, you're right, I need to distract myself! I'm thinking of starting some kind of course but no idea what.

It's not as though I'm not busy, but he is about the only person I speak to most days and that has to change.

Solid, I see what you are saying but I already paint, play music, sing etc. I am fairly passionate about those things but without humans to get excited about, I don't feel like doing any of them...iyswim?
I need to expand the human side of things, really, just not with Mr Married and unsuitable!!!