suffering with anxiety

[nursenight]

Hi, i dont know if anyone can help me but i am suffering with (i think) anxiety at the moment, i am having relationship problems (have posted briefly before- dh has past drug problem) we are currently surviving and staying together on a day to day basis only just. this anxiety i have seems to have come out in a strange way, i cant sleep and feel tearful all the time even at work (like now!) and if i think of anything sad i feel really panicky. i read an article at the weekend in the paper about a little girl (same age as DD) that was neglected and died and since then i cant stop thinking about it, the horrifying images and thoughts are going round my head all the time worse in the dark. i dont know what to do.

oh, poor you

have you thought about seeing your gp ?

there may be someone at the practice you can talk to or he/she may recommend some short-term medication to get you through this

or is there anyone in your family/friends you can talk to ?

thanks for your reply AF. i am in work at the moment and its hard for me to type, im thinking of calling my gp and seeing if i can get an appt today. i am currently finding it really hard not to burst into tears. im scared that im going to lose control tbh, i cant talk to anyone rl but i will talk to my gp if i can get there. i just wish i couls stop thinking these horroble things, i almost feel as if its my fault. things at home are not good and i cant sleep plus i have to work so i spose this is just all the pressure coming out. i will get to my gp if i can.

oh, things are really getting on top of you aren't they

intrusive thoughts that affect your daily functioning and prevent you sleeping are strong signs of anxiety

your GP can help, and will be very used to people dissolving into tears...

cant get into gp til tomorrow, im dreading another night like this. i really hope im not going mad, i have kids to look after. thanks AF.

you are not going mad

get the kids in bed tonight

have a nice long soak in the bath, glass of warm milk (or wine) to relax

read a book until your eyes are drooping, then off to sleep

you will be ok, I promise

Nursenight, was it the article in this Saturday's weekend magazine? If it's any consolation I have been tearful about that one for the last 3 days, too. I work in the field so am pretty hardened, and already knew of the case through other news reports, but that article really got to me. I think it was the knowledge of so very many people turning a blind eye.

I agree with Anyfucker, GP visit sounds like a good idea, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate at the moment and anxiety really wears you out. Just put one foot in front of the other tonight and have a really honest talk with your GP when you get there.

thank you yes i will be honest with my gp, i feel totally on the edge. have major problems relationship-wise, not violence or anything but lack of sleep, hideous atmosphere at home and not knowing what i will find from one day to the next. its a roller coaster and i have no family to talk to. thanks snotbaby, yes it was that article and i always get affected by this sort of thing, Baby P etc. it knocks me for days, i cant believe how terrible that kid's life was (in tears again now!)it makes me so angry/sad/guilty - anyway deep breath, will get to doc tomorrow, will try to sleep tonight if poss (hope so). i know this is not ''normal'' - i hope i dont get locked up!!

if it makes you feel any better when Jamie Bulger was killed, I had a dc the same age

I literally cried for 3 days, could not the images outta my head

over the next few weeks, DH would regularly come home from work to find me with red, swollen eyes

even now, all these years later...the whole thing has the power to knock me sideways (and anything horribly similar)

I literally cannot bear it...does that make sense ?

Sounds stupid in black and white...if I "cannot bear it" how the hell do the RL parents feel ? Silly to let it affect us so...but sometimes events worm into our subconscious and won't let go...

sorry to ramble

Of course you won't be locked up I know that you feel you are the only person with these feelings of overwhelm and unreality, but these are classic anxiety attack symptoms, and are really easy to treat. Your GP will probably see a few people this week reporting the same symptoms.

thank you its a relief to know im not the only one, its just every time i stop and think, or try to sleep, shut my eyes the images are there. i wish i hadnt read the article but i sort of feel guilty if i dont read it as if im not caring about it , sorry i make no sense. i think at the moment im particularly down so this has really added to it, and i just keep thinking i cant cope. i feel physically sick all the time, so tired, and cant see any happiness in the future which is terrible thing to say as i have 2 beautiful children. will get to gp tomorrow hope he will get me some counselling or something. i did a session at relate (on my own) that really helped. DH wouldnt go with me and now he wont help me to pay for it so i cant go. perhaps there is nhs counselling. i cant talk to DH as he thinks people shouldnt feel sorry for themselves and this is what he would think of me right now. anyway i think we may be heading for a split very soon, he said last night he cant stand living with me (altho he apologised this morning very confusing) if i cant sleep tonight i will read. many thanks must go boss on warpath.

nursenight, I felt guilty for gradually stopping thinking about stuff, as if it meant nobody cared about horrible things happening

like if he stayed in my thoughts, he was still there, can't explain it very well

stupid, but a symptom I think you are very anxious/stressed with other things going on

your relationship seems at breaking point, NN, that is enough to send anyone into a spin

Hi there,

The article has been with me all weekend and today at work too.I just cant let it go so you are not the only one.I have never been tempted to write to the paper before but I was disgusted and ashamed at all those people who sat downstairs every night.I would have given that little girl all my love and warmth and kindness in a second.She is in a good place now with all the other wee angels of the world.Ive had anxiety in the past and I find lavender is so calming,you can wear it to work or spray some on your pillow for bed.Another tip my friend gave me if you cant sleep is pretend its morning,get up,turn the lights on,have a cup of tea and read a little.Nothing is worse than lying there in the dark. Just remember you are not the only one, there is plenty of support here on Mumsnet and another gem that my Dad always says..'this too will pass'.

I am just very glad I didn't see that article then..

I hope I can avoid it too

nursenight - you sound like you could have depression ... all the symptoms you list are diagnostic.

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Depression/Pages/Symptoms.aspx

A trip to your GP might really help. Good luck!

Hope you're doing all right today nursenight?

Nuresnight you should be able to get some counselling from your GP. I did and it has helped enourmously.

I was tearful all the time and unable to cope, relationship a mess etc etc, and my GP was totally fantastic.

I am now on AD's which is something I swore I would never do, but I've decided that it's something I need at the moment, so am trying to give myself a break about it.

It does sound as though your depressed, and your GP will ask you a series of questions, and then know the best way to help.

I wish you lots of luck.

hi, i am back in work today , have been to doc yesterday and got some AD's and also some diazepam for short term to help with sleeping and anxiety. i took one yesterday and found myself rather woozy, which was kind of nice/numb but not practical for everyday life! so will take one before bed only. doc said i seem depressed and i have to go back in 3 weeks. in myself i feel better than monday, still tearful, but not as bad. i know i have a lot of issues to deal with and i must do something about them. reading the co-dep thread made me realise how much i try to control things/my relationship/DH addictions. ha ha when i told him i had diazepam he asked for some!! needless to say i have got them on me. anyway i really appreciate everyones messages, ideas and thoughts. regarding the article that set me off i feel less crazy now knowing that others also feel like me. i would not want to be a person that didnt care about these things, but i do have to find a way to deal with it so it doesnt debilitate me so much. GP offered to sign me off work, i refused for now as i find if i keep busy it helps. still need to sleep more, will try to get some over the weekend. GP said counselling has hideous waiting list. but if i dont feel better i will ask him to put me on list anyway.

thanks for update nursenight

I hope you start feeling better really soon...

are you addressing any of your relationship problems at all, because in the long run if they remain then your life will not improve...

just a thought

hey AF, thanks. i am hoping to address the issues - its really hard how now i have got to the depressed stage it all feels like my fault again, so it makes it so much harder. will try tho.

take your time, NN

if necessary, wait until you are feeling stronger

what I meant was, don't shelve them forever, or you will end up in a vicious cycle of depression

Oh, poor you. I read that article, too, on my own while DH was away for the weekend (not my best move) and could hardly breathe I was crying so much by the end. Had to go and lie down with my DD and then DS . No-one could have read it without being affected.