dh and I have been together for a long time, over 10 years.
I have some anxiety issues centred around not liking to be in crowded places. I have never needed medical treatment for these issues and they have only (until recently) reared their head sporadically rather than suffering with them all the time. However in the last 8 or so years, the issues have been coming back a lot more often and my usual practice of just forcing myself to face the anxiety isn't working (i.e. I face my fear, normally that would mean the next time it was easier to face that situation again - except what has happened over the last 8 years is that facing the fear has not made it any easier the next time so time after time, I am faced with the same anxiety).
I decided to seek treatment and went to someone who was very good (a leading world expert in anxiety) but he could not initially figure out why facing my anxiety wasn't making the anxiety any less (given that I'm not depressed or a generally anxious person).
Then I filled in a diary and he stumbled on the fact that my anxiety gets loads better when my dh is travelling for work. Then, on analysing it more closely, he realised that when dh is away, I'm not faced with his snoring and actually get a full night's sleep. He is now convinced that severe sleep deprivation is the cause of my anxiety not getting less.
Dh snores dreadfully and will not seek treatment for it. He doesn't snore all night long but has periods where he is so loud that it wakes me with a shock. I have started to go to bed earlier to pack the hours of sleep in but the minute he comes to bed, it starts waking me up. For example, last night, I went to bed at 9pm, he woke me up at 1am and I haven't been back to sleep apart from the odd 30 mins. I work full time, in a long hours responsible job and am averaging about 4-5 hours a night, not even in one period.
I have asked dh to do something about it but it infuriates him. He insists it is because I am such a light sleeper. His father has the same issue as him and sought treatment and even had operations but ultimately, he still snores so dreadfully that him and his wife don't sleep together. Dh does not want to sleep apart but I'm afraid I can no longer put up with this and am going to insist on it. He sees this as the ultimate betrayal (in fact, when we met he said it was the one thing he never wanted to happen) but I feel I am left with no choice. We have no spare room and everything downstairs is open plan so it means me sleeping in with the dcs but I cannot see any other option.
How can I make him go to the doctors and at least see if there's anything they can do? I feel so pissed off about this as our relationship is good in every other way but this is so serious now that I feel it is making me want to leave him. I have mentioned this to him and it just drives him further away rather than further towards medical treatment!