Give me a good reason not to message Xp's new gf to tell what a sh*t he was to our Ds ???

[prettywhiteguitar]

I know that she is only just 24 and has a big family and lots of dn's. I suppose I am just angry that she probably doesn't know what a total sh*t bag he was to ds.

Makes me really angry. It wasn't that long ago just last sept when he was constantly trying to change access to suit the night he wanted to go out to......grrrrrrrrrr

just want her to hear my story I guess and see what kind of person he is

tell me that I shouldn't

I think it depends how much of a shit we are talking about? If he is just a pain in the arse , then leave them too it. If he's abusive, then do tell her. I just learnt some awful things about my ex last night from a mutual friend. She chose not to tell me, and to give him a chance. I really wish she had let me know, rather than let me waste 5 years finding out for myself, and loosing a load of friends in the process too.

One good reason is that she'll just think that you're a bitter and twisted ex who is trying to split them up.

But agree that exception would be abuse.

If he has told her that you are bitter and twisted, and then you phone her to have a dig about your ex, you then make your ex very believable.

Let her find out what he is like herself, unless of course if he was abusive.

OK if he is abusive then it's probably right to tell her (though she probably won't believe you, because abusive men are great at convincing every new partner that their previous DW or GF is a bitter twisted lying cow who Can't Let Go). If it's just that your relationship ended with bad feelings, don't bother. It will make you look like a bitter twisted lying cow and won't have any effect on XP and his GF.l

He was really aggressive at times yeah, he threw a glass at the radiator in my bedroom when I was pregnant in bed after i told him to come home from a club, he'd let me walk home alone 7mths pregnant. But he would blame that on me...it was all my fault cause I put pressure on him. He always went to hit me but managed to stop himself.

He didn't see ds when he left him at 6mths cause he was out doing pills and going clubbing. She has brothers with children harry's age, I just think she should know what kind of person he is.

I want her to know he was doing pills a few days before I was due, and that he didn't stay at the hospital with me and ds for more than 5mins...that he constantly kept me guessing where he was and that on his day off he didn't want to spend it with his baby son.

but she's not a friend I would be messaging her out of the blue, I'm a 30 year old woman it would scare her ! And he would probably have an army of excuses.

She will think you are being bitter and bitchy. I wish I had been told, but I would not have listened.

She will find out herself in time.

yeah you are all right ! god he is such an arse

Just be grateful you are out of it, and do not give the tosser any more of your time/effort thinking about him.

I know I should i think i'm hormonal at the mo......

just ranting, just makes me mad that he is nice to ds now, just because I made him go to mediation and the solictitor told him exactly what I'd been telling him all along.

Now he thinks everything is fine cause I am being friendly for ds's sake when I really hate the barsteward