Sex uncomfortable due to size

[Justtoobig]

Namechanger alert. (Mouldies, booble plate, horses at the olympics, supersoaker, cube of poo)

My bf has put on weight, a fair bit and I'm finding sex uncomfortable. I don't mean penis size, I mean straddling him, either on top or below, and his weight hurts me.

We can't do doggy, he's quite short and it just doesn't work, and even spooning doesn't work, as his tummy gets in the way.

He knows he has put on weight, but is such a fussy eater and his trying to eat healthily is not the same as mine, and he has had health issues, so I don't want to put it plainly to him, but I really don't find having sex with him comfortable any more.

What can I do, other than not have sex?

A sexual relationship isn't just about "loving" someone, it's also about fancying them. He isn't your son or your brother, he's supposed to be your lover. I wouldn't fancy my DH if he put on several stones and I doubt he'd fancy me.
We both tell each other if we're piling on the pounds a bit.
It's not your job to continue to fancy him even if he turns into a porker, it's his job to try and keep his body (and mind) in shape so you continue to fancy him.
I'd tell him that if he wants to have sex he needs to lose weight as it's sore and less pleasurable for you at the moment.
Agree with those who said people don't pile on several stones overnight. It's a shame you didn't bring this up when he started putting on weight.

The thing is, we don't see each other all the time, and as I said, he has health issues.
I'm trying not to go into detail as I'll give myself away but when I last saw him, he had put on a fair bit and I found the sex I had been looking forward to, uncomfortable and I didn't fancy him. He is short so a small amount of weight shows, but I reckon its a fair bit.
He has an awful diet, and even though he's improving it (so he says) I know he doesn't really have a clue about good food, and he's really fussy, like small child fussy.

I don't know how to say it without being unsympathetic to the health issues, but I feel I can't have sex with him again at that weight.
Even if I did find him attractive, if hurts, my legs just don't stretch that far, and he's heavy on top of me.

I'd tell him, as otherwise if you no longer fancy him and he lives elsewhere the relationship is doomed anyway.
Health issues can make it harder to lose weight (sometimes ) but often mean that losing weight is more important as obesity exacerbates many illnesses.

Reckon you have to be honest with him at least to the extent that you tell him that sex hurts you. You could white lie and say that you do really fancy him still but it's just your body doesn't stretch that way and you really need him to lose weight so that you can enjoy that sex.
If he refuses to do it, it shows that he doesn't care much for himself or you and that's no basis for a good relationship anyway.

I had a thin man who was too short for spoons (if you know what I mean!) but I thought doggy was something everyone could enjoy. What do I know?!

At least you have an excuse not to have sex if you don't fancy him anymore.

I can think of a few positions that would work. Whether you'd be able to have a good time, with his tummy wedged inconveniently between you, is another matter ... you'd have to be very much in lurrve to overlook it. So to speak

It doesn't bother him? Really? He must have a very big opinion of himself

I think you are using his weight as a fence.

If you dont wanna have sex with him tell him straight dont use his weight as a guise.

My dh isnt a small bloke he still keeps a smile on my face .

On top?

pmsl at all the disappointed with donger comments.

The way I see it you have 3 options:

1. Tell him the truth.

1. You take up yoga. So you're more bendy.

1. Reverse cowgirl?

Doggy was fine til i got my head stuck between the bars

Aahahahahahahh, nickschick! I read that post!
Laffed so much, the cat got scared & ran away

u wouldnt have laffed if youd have been me stuck there .

Agree with previous posters, reverse cowgirl ie you on top facing his feet and if it hurts - lube?

Oh no! I don't think anyone's around at MNHQ this time of night to get that deleted but I am going to report your post any way.

Gosh, I think I know him! Always thought he'd get fat ... On second thoughts, that bloke wouldn't have drunk a smoothie. So it's not him.

Taking a workmanlike attitude to your OP:-

• Atkins diet. Hurrah, ALL meat & fat, NO veg, no starch. We're talking steak & bacon, with added bacon & cheese on the side. It will make him smell like a corpse (seriously, read up on Atkins + ketosis) but it burns fat incredibly quickly.
  As a bonus, even the most committed vegophobe finds themself craving a bit of lettuce after 3 or 4 weeks

• All edge-of-the bed positions. Think of how it's toning & elongating your thighs

• If he needs to lie down after all that energetic kneeling, stick a whole pile of pillows under his bum. This should tilt the tummy bak up towards his chest (then he'll get a good look at it, heh)

Umm, good luck! Hope you'll update

Can you not just imagine it's both of jedward?

ROFL at Jedward x 2

Not sure how you'd cope with the double quiff?

We did!!! Some of us [me! me! me! and some others] made practical suggestions.

But you're welcome to Huff. And Quiff(s).

You make your relationship sound more like missionary work (educating him about his eating, not fancying him, having painful sex so as not to hurt his feelings). Relationships are supposed to be fun, especially if he's just a boyfriend and no kids or legal entanglements.
What are you getting out of this relationship? Why don't you dump him and find a bloke you fancy?
It's not your job to go out with the guy just because no-one one else will.