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Relationships

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Original poster

How long before you say "I love you...."

7 replies

Confusedsoul · 05/02/2010 14:00

I'm in a relatively new relationship after my marriage ended 20 months ago. We've been seeing each other for just over 6 months, neither of us have said those three words yet. Am I right to think it doesn't matter, that we're having an amazing time - so just to enjoy it for what it is at the moment? Or should I listen to my niggling doubts that are saying if he loved me he'd have said it by now.... I haven't said it because I'm worried about being met with an awkward silence!

Slightly trivial, I know, but just wondered what others thought.

OP posts:

AMumInScotland · 05/02/2010 14:24

Maybe he has the same worry? Or maybe he doesn't think the words are important? Or maybe he isn't thinking that seriously?

I don't think there's any way for us here to know....

If you feel he behaves as if he loves you, then it's fairly likely that he does. I also think after 6 months, it's got to be worth the risk of saying it - if you do get an awkward silence in return then you know where you stand. If you avoid making a huge big deal out of saying it then the silence is maybe easier to deal with - a throwaway "I love you" when he's made you a cuppa is perhaps easier to laugh off than over a romantic dinner at a restaurant...

KerryMumbles · 05/02/2010 14:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Confusedsoul · 05/02/2010 18:07

Thanks for the reply. He definitely behaves as if he does, so I guess I should take that as the most important thing at the moment. And MuminScotland, yes - there's no way I'd say it in public!!

That's what I've always thought Kerry, it's always been said to me by the guy first so I've never had this worry before!

Any other thoughts welcome

OP posts:

palomasmum · 05/02/2010 18:09

Sometimes people say it but they are infatuated, not truly in love. Which is the 'heady' feeling you get when you've just started having sex with someone.

Devendra · 05/02/2010 18:16

I was with DP for about 4 months and was dying to tell him... so I bought a lovely card and just wrote the three words in it... he was very touched and we have told each other every day ever since for 5 years... go for it

castlesintheair · 05/02/2010 18:20

My DH & I have been together for 15 years and iirc I don't think either of us has ever said it

pinkchampagne · 05/02/2010 18:22

We first said it after around 4 months I think. This is the first relationship I have felt the need to say it though as it is the first time I have really been in love. Never really said it to ex h.

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