mil has had a serious go at me about spoiling a surprise I knew nothing about

[Snowfun]

Its left me very shaken and upset still shaking now half an hour later. Its dhs 40th birthday soon my mum and mil were talking aparently about organising a surprise red letter day. Just because dh rang last night about babysiting for his 40th for a day out she decided a I knew (I didn't and b I told him I hadn't obviiously! She had such a go at me and for most the time I didn't have a clue what she meant. My mum happened to be there (she didn't know) and she is fuming saying you didn't know anything about it. She says I should ring back and demand an apology. I'm so upset and its not as if I can tell dh or hit really will spoil his surprise! I meant it was a surprise to dhh obviously she was going to discuss everything with me but hadn't yet.

She did say that she was going to discuss everything first and they were only ideas as she wouldn't arrange anything without me as it wasn't "her place to". Red letter day is apparently when you buy an experience and aparently she was going to ask several relatives to club together to contribute. I don't understand the babysitting thing either as it would have been presented on his birthday to be used anytime in the next 6 months. They are vouchers and you can choose how to spend it I think I don't know really. My mum said that mil had even suggested that me and dh could go on a hot air balloon which mum thinks is hilarious that she should think that a good idea as I am petrified of heights!!!

It was hard when dh got home from work tonight because my normal instinct when he asked if I'd had a good day would be to say "well no actually your mum rang me to have a go at me"! But ofcourse I couldn't!

Spoke to my mum earlier. She hasn't confronted her yet but said she probably feels really silly about everything now but just doesn't want to admit it.

I would tell him anyway, just because she says its a secret doesnt mean it is for you! Just dont tell him what the gift is. No one should have a say in what a husband and wife can tell each other - especially when they have been nasty!