My baby daughter died 12 years ago from Bacterial Meningitis. After such a long time, I have reached a point where I can think about her, without feeling like I have physically been kicked in the stomach.
At the time of her death, everyone was obviously very supportive, but like most things in life, they have moved on - even my husband has.
No one even remembered or acknowledged the 1st anniversary of her death - not my own parents, siblings, friends or my husband.
I have to endure all her 'birthdays' and anniversaries of her death, alone. I am feeling resentful, because to them, it is almost as if she never existed - they don't talk about her at all (I realise that they probably want to spare me the pain), but I want to and need to talk about her. She was my first child (I've had 3 more children since) and I will NEVER get over what happened to her.
When I do remind someone that it is her birthday or the anniversary of her death, the most I get is a sympathetic look and I get the sense that they think 'oh my word, she died 10, 11, 12 years ago, shouldn't you have moved on by now?!'
On the occasions that I have tried to speak to my husband about her, he has told me to please not raise the subject, as it is too painful for him to deal with - he says that he has hidden that sadness far away in the corners of his mind - he acknowledges that it is unhealthy and that he should deal with his grief and that it might all come crashing back one day, but he is not ready for it yet - I respect his wish, but where does that leave me?
I have been to see a psychologist, but personally, I would much rather speak to someone who knew my daughter.
Has anyone had a similar response from their loved ones, if so, how did you deal with it?
Thank you.