Wanted to share... so glad my Ex is my Ex..

[littlestmummystop]

Was with exP for almost three long years.

He wasn't really who he chose to portray at the start of our relationship. He always used to go on and on about being a 'nice, good' man. Maybe he is, I just never found him.

I went through a wobbly patch just after we split when I wanted to get back with him after he met someone else v soon afterwards. Then I came to my senses.

He sent me a letter recently but I returned it back, unopened. Nothing else needs to be said.

But now I am so we have split for good.

I don't miss the digs about my body ( you never had THAT tummy when we met).
I don't miss him never wanting to have sex with me.
I don't miss him never looking me in the eye when we did have sex.
I don't miss him not 'allowing' me to use 'his' bathroom ( the only one with heating in the house).
I don't miss his long, boring monotone monologues about work issues he never properly explained.
I don't miss watching him scratch his hair and sniff his fingers afterwards.
I don't miss the way he smacked his lips very loudly when he ate toast.
I don't miss his mobile always being switched onto silent so he never answered my calls.
I don't miss the way I had to organise every single weekend as he had no friends.
I don't miss feeling sad when I overheard him speaking to his mum with one word answers once every three weeks on the phone.
I don't miss him sitting in total silence in restaurants with nothing to say.
I don't miss him always wanting to go home early when socialising.
I don't miss him saying nasty things about the appearances of my friends ( too fat, too miserable looking, old before her time etc. )
I don't miss his watch or matchbox collections.
I don't miss never knowing what to get him for Christmas or Birthdays. A man with no hobbies, no music tastes, no favourite authors and no food likes.
I don't miss his weirdly hysterical and overly loud way of laughing in cinemas at films.
I don't miss him buying me straight laced clothing that wasn't my style.
I don't miss feeling like I had to settle just because I was a single parent.
Amen.

Doesn't sound like either of you were happy!

Here's to the future

FWIW, men who feel the need to proclaim themselves to be good or nice, very, very rarely are.

Agree with Eco's last comment, very true.

amen

Amen to that!

Sounds like a right catch!

I think you are a little unfair, since matchbox and watch collecting can both be classed as hobbies

Lurvely post, littlestmummystop

Do you mind if I hijack? I really need to write this in public, but don't think it warrants my own thread. OK? Thanks!

After a short but extremely head-fucking marriage to somebody I later realised was an undiagnosed Aspie, I still struggled to understand just why the experience left me so traumatised. I'm not exaggerating, I was diagnosed with PTSD.

It wasn't just the Asperger's of course. The guy was also a pretty neat fit for Antisocial Personality Disorder.

It's taken me a very long time to figure it out. As well as him blaming me for everything that went wrong, too many of my friends & counsellors did the same. I was a bit co-dependent (okay, a lot): like many Aspies, my ex displayed a somewhat endearing social gawkiness. He asked me to help him learn better social & communication skills. He learned. Then he went on to use them against me.

Now I've done such a vast amount of research around the whole mess, I realise I may still be prone to over-helpfulness. But I'll never again 'help' to a level that hurts me - so that's healthy, isn't it? And the next time any adult shows they don't give a shit about my feelings: disability be damned, I'm off!

Mind you, I'm so snug & selfish now, I may just stay single for the remainder!

Thanks for the soap box

Itsgraceagain...

What a sad story. You have done soo well recognising it all and climbing out of it though...

Actually I think exP was at least on the spectrum of Aspergers... he said to me when I left: 'I don't know what's wrong with me, and worst of all it's not so bad that I can get help anywhere.'

But we recognised we couldn't live with it and got out. My exP IS with someone else now and I do wonder how she will cope.

Thank goodness it's no longer me though.

Heh, I did wonder when you mentioned the watches & matchboxes

Glad you can keep your bum warm in the bathroom now! x