ongoing probs with dp. dont think i want to do this anymore but dont want to regret finishing things either

[juicychops]

Ive posted a few times in the past about dp. I think ive finally had enough with the way things are but i still love him.
i dont want to leave him but then regret it later on. we dont live together and have no kids together

Ive hardly seen him lately with his work, kids etc and ive just got so used to being on my own that i actually prefer it now.

I think he is fed up with the way things are too but i think he is more willing to work on things than i am now. ive tried but it just doesn't seem worth it anymore. im getting nothing out of this relationship. ive told him this but he just says 'please keep trying', ' things will get better when he gets a new job etc'

its just too hard to tell someone you still love that you dont want to be with him anymore and i dont know how to do it.

write him a letter?

ive written him letters before about how i feel. maybe i need to write him another letter. ive been waiting for another argument to happen so that it sort of pushes me to end things. i nearly did the last time but he pleaded with me not to.

WHy not just not bother to contact him any more, rather than have a big showdown? Stop waiting around for him, get on with enjoying your own life and let him get on with his. It doesn;t sound like he's putting any effort into the relationship, so there's no reason why you should - and letting it drift away is probably less undignified than telling him he's dumped and having him react with bewilderment because he's forgotten he was supposed to be going out with you anyway.

Write him a letter

Dear John

ba ba ba ba baaaaa

Dear John

ba ba ba ba baaaaaaaaaa

By the time you read these lines
I'll be gone.

Yes I agree, why don't you just stop contacting him, perhaps he'll drift away.

That might be better than a big argument, would you prefer it that way?

Juicy, what are the issues, and do you think you can really sort it? It sounds as though you have pretty much given up, but feel very sad about not being able to get back to a better time you might have had in the past.

It sounds difficult, I understand that kind of need to finish things properly, so you can draw a line underneath and move on, but do tend to agree with the others here. It sounds like he's letting it drift, anyway.

If you do write, would you be expecting a response?

tbh i would imagine that he's expecting this to happen
but for your sake and to help you move on it's best if you end it properly otherwise you're left with unfinished business which ime isn't a great feeling
why can't you end it in person?