Where has my sex drive gone???!!!!

[Hunty]

Am I the only person out there who's sex drive has gone on holiday since being a mum! I love my husband so very much, and I would say we have an OK sex life, OK in the respect we do it once a week/fortnight! I never really intiate it, not because i don't enjoy it, I just have other things on my mind or I am shattered I guess. I worry that I am letting my hubby down, even though we do chat about it and I think he understands where I am coming from...most of the time!!!!! I must confess I worry that I am not doing it enough, and wonder how often other mums of young children are at it so to speak!!!! Guess what i am trying to say is am I normal!!!!!!!!?????????

I think you are pretty normal.
Young children are fecking exhausting and physically demanding. Getting into bed was sometimes the first time I'd had any personal space all day. Having a husband interested in sex felt like just another demand on my poor knackered body!
TBH I think once a week is pretty good going actually.
BTW if it's any help,things do get better when the dcs are a bit older

If you have a DC less than a year old, it's more than understandable that you don't feel very frisky: you're knackered and your whole body is still settling down from the birth.
Also, is your H pulling his weight domestically? If he isn't, then it's very easy for sex to start feeling like another chore he expects you to perform for him.
But if you say you are doing it once a week and enjoying it, then there really doesn't seem to be much of a problem - please don't worry about what other people do if you and your H are happy (and if he's not happy with once a week he is being a little unreasonable).

Thanks for that...feel better and normal (ish)already!!!!!!! My DC are 2 & 5.

im feeling the same!
DC are 21months and 4 months.
Sex is such a let down for me, unsatisfying, boring, tirering etc. it does nothing for me what-so-ever and much rather not have it. i envy DH's readiness for sex all the time, wish i felt horny!

I've got all your sex drives and you can have them back because I am single and need to be able to concentrate on something without slipping into a fantasy!!

Hunty, I wish I was managing to do it once a week, you sound perfectly normal to me.

My DS is almost 18 months old & I haven't had sex since before he was born!
This is a real issue for me, I think & worry about it almost every day but can hardly be bothered to do anything about it.
I've "spoken" about it with DP a couple of times but he doesn't really do talking and just said it must be normal for new parents.

I don't know how to initiate a sex life again, I feel very uncomfortable about the whole thing now.

It is soooooooo common to lose your sex drive. Once a week sounds rampant to me. You are keeping in the habit, which is so important. We lost the 'habit' and we are wondering how the hell to get it back?

We manage once a week at the moment due to DH being away. Though I have to admit I never initiate it and my dcs are 9 and 6. I wouldnt worry about it so long as you are happy and your DH is.

Nezzi your message made me remember that I was similar when i had my first son, now 5. Went off sex during prgnancy.....had horrendous pregnancy and birth and then finally took the plunge again when he was 9 months or so..............my hubby was so patient...but I remember the thought being worse than taking the plunge if you see what I mean in the end! For me if I think too much about it I can talk myself out of it...which I am very good at doing. The good thing is from these threads we all seem to be the same so must be the norm! I will stop looking at the Brads and Angelina's of this world and thinking they must be at it every 5 mins!!!!!!!!!