Hi All, I am re-posting this with the permission of the OP as she posted it in area with not much traffic at the end of an old, possibly dead, thread
Have re-worded it very, very slighty so the context makes sense.
Any input welcome.
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I am desperate to talk to someone who has gone through what I am going through, my DD now 16 was raped last year, she was 15, we are due in court next month, the vile pig who did this is currently in prison and has just been on trial for another rape so we are waiting to hear what the sentence is for that also.
my DD is destroyed inside, my cheerful cheeky girl has gone, she is so aggresive now, and keeps running off when things dont go her way, she won't go back to school, its been almost a year now come spring, and she should be studying for her GCSE's. She will not accept counselling or anger managment, or help of any kind, and i am so scared that she is not going to cope with the court case, i know i cant even come close to understanding how she feels,
she has nightmares and often ends up sleeping on the floor in my room as she wont be on her own if her big sister isn't home, she doesn't feel confident to go out much other than very locally, i don't know how to reach her, and i just want to make it all better for her , i don't think there is a day that goes by that i dont think about what happened to her, i had been pacing up and down in my living room venting my anger at her cos she was late home(it was about 10pm)and her curfew was 9, trying to call her mobile and thinking she had switched it off to be smart and stay out later, my door knocking and me marching to answer it and give her what for, only it wasnt her , it was two police officers, who came in , sat me down and told me my Daughter had been attacked and they had come to bring me to the hospital where she was,
i could hardly breathe when i saw her, she looked so broken and lost,i cried more tears for her that night than i think i have ever cried before in my life, and it is so weird as i have dreams where i am there with her, i see what he done to her as though i really was there, does that sound mad?? i have tried to talk to her but she clams up, so now i don't but i feel like i should, i need her to know that she doesnt have to keep it all in, but every time we have had any kind of appointment in connection with it, either with, the Haven, or the sapphire unit she is unbearable to be around afterwards, she becomes so aggressive,
her SOIT officer rang last night to confirm a date to view the court and she totally went off the rails, she ended up attacking her sister and throwing a shoe at her head which caused a big lump on her forehead, ny older DS cried and told me that i dont protect her or do anything when younger DD attacks her and that if it had been the other way around i would have sent her to her room and gone mad at her, i did get inbetween them and break the fight up, but i don't know how to deal with yDD at the moment and i am scared she will run away again if i try to discipline her or tell her off, i desperately need help with her but she is just refusing everything, i feel like i am almost scared of her now, not in the way that she would hurt me (although she has threatened to hit me) but scared of her reaction, scared of making things any worse than they already are,
can you please help try to help my DD cope with the whole court thing, as it is getting closer and closer, sorry my post is so long, i just have so much questions and emotionswhizzing round and round in my head and i dont know who to approach with them,
i cannot bear the thought of my family knowing, it would break their hearts if they knew, so i have to keep lying to them, that she is doing great at school and all is fine,