advice about a date...

[susia]

Hi,
I went on a date with a man last week, got on really well and at the end he said he'd like us to go for a meal next time. We texted last night and he said 'he'd think of somewhere to take me', then texted to say he'd booked up a local restaurant. I replied asking if he was sure and he said 'why wouldn't I be...?'

Now I panicking, wondering if he's offering to pay or not because if he's not I can't afford it and I'd assumed that he was.

Just wondered what you all think. If he's not offering to pay, I can't go for a meal as I have to pay for a babysitter but do you think he is?

I said in my last text that i meant that it was more expensive than a drink and he just said where he'd booked up a restaurant but didn't mention the money...

I know it's trivial but would be grateful for some advice

tbh for a meal, infact any date, I wouldn't assume he was paying- i'd infact make sure I had about £30-£40 on me incase to go half on it. but i'm a bit funny about that.

Ooh tricky one, I'd imagine he will offer to pay but if he doesn't and it will leave you stuck, you might have to come clean and say that you'd love to see him, and the idea of the meal, but money's a bit tight to afford both babysitting and a meal out, so could you just go for a drink instead? I can't see that anyone decent won't understand that.

Other options are staying in and cooking or takeaway but it's too early days for that I imagine!

you see I just don't have that kind of money, I have to pay £20 for a babysitter and can't afford a meal on top of that. So I'd much rather not go than spend £40/£50 on a night out.

His text said 'just thinking of somewhere nice to take you...' so that's why I assumed it. If I'd thought he was suggesting we go halves I'd have declined.

come on love, just ask him about it

and explain why you were asking

if he is a good guy, he will understand

as chippy says gently enquire about it - does he know your money situ at all? (vaguely I mean not the ins and outs)

the trouble is, what do I say now anything or nothing? and if I do say something I don't know what?

I'm funny about this too - I always paid my way on every date, unless there was a reason i.e. I would cook for him in return or whatever.

In your circumstances, you see when he mentioned a meal, I would've said 'maybe just a drink again, my finances won't stretch to a meal at the moment'. Thereby giving him a chance to say 'oh, ok' or 'no, don't worry, it's my treat'.

You could just text him and say, 'sorry I just got an unexpected bill in, so I really can't stretch to a meal, how about just a drink instead' ??

bet your bottom dollar he says 'I'm paying'

Betcha! no money, but I betcha

would do as huw says, text and say how you'd really like to meet again but finances can't really stretch to a meal but a drink would be lovely

huwEdwards, I think he is meaning and offering to pay to be honest otherwise he wouldn't have said, he'd think of somewhere nice to take me and that's why I feel awkward mentioning it because it makes an issue out of it.

But I'd like to be sure, it's not because I think a man should pay or anything its just the finances and because I wouldn't choose to go for a meal on top of paying for babysitting.