this guy is really making me angry now

[farmvilleaddict]

iv posted over the last week or so about my break up last week.

i have been bombarded with calls and texts every day since thebreakup and feel like i'm not getting space to deal with this. the first week was fine, as i seemed to be running on adrenalin and was feeling great. this week its starting to hit me and i'm having a hard time.

its not being made easier by the fact that my ex is in my face a lot. but i'm the type of person who hates confrontation of any kind and so i've been pussyfooting about him, not wanting to tell him i need space, in case i hurt him more.

after much advice i finally rang him this morning (after 2 texts and a phone call from him already) and explained, as nicely as i could, that whilst i appreciate his concern for me, i need some space to deal with the breakup and that he could benefit from some too.

well he didn't take it very well and after i got off the phone he sent me the following text message:

"you know your still in a mood. its not my fault all this shit has happened but it seems your still punishing me for everything... i can't believe all the help i tried to give you and again you still not god damn happy...i give up"

Well i just lost it after that. I rang him and ended up screaming down the phone that it is his fault that all this "shit" has happened and that i'm not punishing anyone but how the hell can i move on from him when he's constantly bombarding me with text messages, phone calls, visits and telling me his ex wants to get back with him???

She's bloody welcome to him. I took today off work to try and have some quality "me" time and he's just gone and put me in a foul mood.

Block him. Do not engage. At all.

Keep telling yourself that he is an emotionally retarded fuckwit who thinks that the mere mention of his ex's interest is going to get you to relent. You've done the hard bit Farmville - stick to your guns. A man like this gets angry when he cannot control your behaviour. He is not feeling grief, just anger that a mere woman has dared to call his bluff.

chickenslovemarmite i'd love it to be as simple as just cutting him out of my life. trouble is i have an 18mo son to him.

whenwillifeelnormal i'm just so angry that i tried to say that i needed space in as nice a way as possible. I can't believe that i have felt so guilty over hurting him if he is able to send me a text message as cheeky as that.

He has made my blood boil today.

Blimey what a tosser, please don't feel guilty!

Sounds like he pushed and pushed until you snapped.

I can't believe i stayed with this loser for 8 years!!!!!!!!!

I can't believe i've been delaying in changing my facebook status to single so as not to hurt him.

I can't believe i was avoiding telling him i needed space so as not to hurt him.

I can't believe i've been such a dick!

Can you change your FB status to 'very happily single'?

why does he keep calling and texting etc?

if you have DCs together, then discuss that, but if not, then you have no obligation to even answer the phone to him

I just changed my FB status to single

forgive me - i know this sounds harsh but i think that there is a lot of drama here that could be avaoided if you really wanted to.

you can buy cheap mobile phones, hell you can even get just a free sim - and have a different number if you want. but my suggestion is get a phone - tell him the new number and tell him that it is for making arrangements regarding the child.

then turn it off at any other time apart from near the time to making arrangements.

change your landline number and go ex dir. then just give to trusted people

Ok, if you have a child with him then you need to discuss those arrangements. But only those. The rest of the texts/calls can totally be ignored. Think: stroppy toddler. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

lulu he keeps texting and calling to ask how i am and "just to chat" or to tell me how hard he is finding all of this.

I do did want to be friends because of DS but now i really want minimal contact and only to talk to him about Ds if i have to.

He's such a child. He has just texted saying:

hey look i know we aren't dealing with this shit too well, which is understandable. but this arguing with each other will only end up in us hating each other. i don't want to fight u on everything and i may not see eye to eye with u on everything but we'll only hurt each other and DS. and i don't want either of u hurt. i know u said to leave you alone but this crap needs sorted"

WTF??????

Now that he has had his wee strop and vented all his anger he suddenly wants to be friends again and is playing the "child" card??

god its all so immature- if you truly dont want the drama - turn the fucking phone off

you have to stop this in its tracks.

you tell him you will discuss DS and nothing more and if he cannot stick ot that, it will have to be done via lawyers

every time you respond /chat/text back, you are signalling he can continue

i have replied to him to say that i don't want any more contact with him unless its to do with DS. I just got "ok!" as a reply.

Custardo, yes i do agree that its all very immature, however i didn't realise that agreeing to stay friends with this guy would result in this. He is 33 and i expected him to deal with this in a more mature way. At the end of the day we were together for 8 years and i didn't want to just cut him out of my life.

Unfortunately his reactions have left me no other choice. That makes me sad.

is he 1 of these really annoying people who cant actually say what they want to and end up texting a barrage of abuse, or sorrys?
If it was me i wouldn't reply to text messages it only fuels the fire. wait until you've calmed down and either call him or go and see him regarding your little one.

Make it clear to him then thats this is how the relationship will be from now on, and if he doesnt like that then you will be seeking legal advice as this is a form of harrasment!

littlemissfixit...he is the worlds worst communicator. i read every text he sent over the weekend to my sister and she said that they either sounded almost cheeky, selfish or didn't make sense at all.

Its like he doesn't think about what he wants to say. However, there are usually no apologies because its me who has to explain to him why and how his communications are ambiguous, cheeky or sarcastic.

Hey Farmville.. its tough having to redefine a relationship and is much easier when there are no kids because you can ignore ignore ignore.

Draw a line and now refuse to respond unless its to do with contact for your son.. he will try every trick in the book.. guilt, anger, sadness and manipulation.. rise above and count to 10... I gave my best friend my phone for a fortnight and she screened the texts for me... made such a difference.

Thanks devendra.

I'm hoping that now i've told him i don't want any other contact except to do with DS that it will calm down now.

I just want to get on with this and i hate that it had to come to such drastic circumstances. I'm ultra sensitive and actually feel quite nauseous as i've never had to do anythign like that before.

But its for the best...