Heartbroken

[delie]

My husband has been difficult since our baby was 3 months old (now 10 months). Blaming me for being different and not having time etc, making me feel guilty. I found out he had another mobile phone, he said he texts people he has met online, only about day to day stuff, and again makin it sound like my fault! Then I found out there is one girl in particular he texts, even tells her he loves her! He stormed off after confronting him, works away so can easily run off when suits him! He wouldnt talk to me about it, just wants to know how I found this info out, as if thats the main issue! Eventually got him to text me n admit there is someone, apparently only met once and all it was was a meeting. When I asked what his intentions are with her he said 'i dunno til we are sorted'!!!! So he is just gona take his pick??!!!!
We have been together 10 yrs since I was 17, we have been married 2 and a half years. Baby was planned so wasn't a shock or anything. Feel so angry at him for the way he has dealt with things but struggling with my feelings as I love him so much. Everything we own is joint, I need his support money wise and i'm so scared of a life without him but if he can persue another woman like he has done and act like its me thats the problem then is it best that its happened sooner rather than later, perhaps it is!

Any advice on what to think/say/do? Feel very very lost.

bumping for you

Throw him out as soon as you have sorted yourself the house.

What an unmitigated cunt.

Think I'm gona have to... it will probably only happen again, as the sayin goes once a cheater....
Its just plucking up the courage after so long, I dont feel I have the power to do it, I know i'll see him and wana keep him, so hard!

very selfish.
a separate mobile is very calculated.
There seem to be a couple of threads with men getting very pissed off when the first child comes along. It's just selfish.
yes it's a life changing event, but for the better!

you are probably better off without him, but that's hard to hear when you have a lot to deal with.
If you want to make it work, then i think you have to sit down with him and make a plan about what would make you both feel better about each other. and work at it.
If he continues to be a selfish bastard, then check out what you are entitled to and tell him to leave.
sorry you are going through this.x

Have been in a similar situation to you before.

I would suggest that he is minimising what he has been upto.

I doubt he has met her just the once. It is also possible she is not the only one he has ever met.

When guilty people usually minimise their deviance.

I could be wrong but you already know he cannot be trusted - so don't be so quick to trust everything he tells you.

He sounds a total shit! Ofcourse you will be different FFS and yes your relationship will have changed dynamics - you now have a baby and there is now 3 of you!!

I would love to say just dump the shit and let him carry on with his internet floozie but I also (sadly) know its not always that easy to walk away and end it all.

I am sorry this has happend to you and at such a special time. Would not wish it on anyone.

Only you can decide what you are prepared to put up with but he sounds slefish and immature and does not sound the least bit remorseful or as if he wants to stop it.

He has told her he loves her?
He texts people he has "met" online-how sad is that?

I would say get rid of the immature cheating twät tbh, but that´s obviously easier said than done!

Thanks for your comments and advice.
Its very sad that he texts people he has met online, to even go meet people online like that is silly when he has a wife and baby at home! He is always on facebook and comments on people's status all the time, which I think is sad! He has his own life! A good life, well i think it has been for him! Maybe its too good and he doesn't realise. I worry its all a blip and he will come to his senses in a few months then it's too late. And I dont want to be weak at the time and give it another go. Im so weak when it comes to him! And I hate the thought of our baby being brought up with just her mum, obviously he will see baby but I dont want it to be him having them at the weekend etc, I dont want every saturday our whatever without my baby! It makes me so angry, cos he has done this to our baby as well as me, and is she gona resent him when she is older, probably?!?!? He has already said he wants to take her out on saturday, I dont want him to, not cos im worried, but I just think its so selfish buggerin off like he has, thinks he can just slip into single parent life and have her when he feels like it. He may not mean it like that but thats how i've taken it!
He is dying to know how I found out about how and Im not tellin him, its really winding him up, seems more so than the fact his wife knows about his antics! I just wish he had broken down and admitted everything to me and said he was sorry and was at a low point with out relationship and all the changes, but instead he got angry, so bad tempered and just ran away from it all! Sometimes I think yeah this is for the better, I know he cant be trusted now and its gona be hard but i can move on, eventually find someone else etc etc, but then there are times when I think i dont wana move on, I dont want anyone else, I want the life I had with my husband and baby all happy together forever! Its so so so hard

it is hard,but he's ended the relationship,not you.

time to move on now....

Thanks IloveTIFFANY, I know your right

delie do you have friends/family who can help you move on?

ILT, is right

please look after yourself, and stop hankering after something that never existed

you will find it...just not with him

don't give him any more chances

however I give him a month or two before he comes crawling back with his tail between his legs

hopefully you will have grown stronger by then and will have the satisfaction of telling him to fuck off back to his single life

have a look at this

He sounds like he doesnt realise how lucky he is because its all been so easy for him and hes trying to get more but there wont be more just lots of mess

I'm hoping by the time he comes doing the crawling back as AF says which he is bound to do you'll be singing yes by mcalmont and butler at him

oh, bloody brilliant lyrics bronze

< adds to little lyrics book of treats >

Thank you all. I do have very good family around me, and his family are so upset also and I get on really well with them. I wont be on my own, just so frightened of being without him, he's been my life since I was 17, im just gutted. Been I am starting to feel mad and angry so I guess thats a good thing! xxx