I would like to become a more sympathetic/empathetic person and be less hard and snappish.

[bibbitybobbityhat]

Has anyone got any ideas for me? Am thinking mostly along the lines of getting a couple of books out of the library, not embarking on years of therapy.

I find I am a bit short-tempered with needy people, which is not great with little children, who have lots of needs, and it is an aspect of my parenting I feel could be improved.

It also doesn't help with DH, who has always been the needier one in our relationship.

I'd like to soften up a little and find a way to be more generous and caring.

Any suggestions?

Good for you. I'm practising this one, too!
A useful word to remember, I find, is compassion ...
So here's some for both of us!

Hi Bibbity
I am working on the same thing.

I am the soul of kindness at work in a health care setting but when I get home it is as if all my patience has been used up and I am grumpy old bag until I have had a meal and a bit of peace and quiet. If the DC or the DH want to talk to me they have to wait till I am recharged.
I like the idea of laughter therapy. Not enough laughing happens in my house!

People who are impatient/intolerant with others are nearly always the same with themselves. You might like this article in the Huffington Post.

You might like this book? Another one I'm very fond of is Don't Sweat The Small Stuff.
Right, I'm off to look after myself nicely!!

This is very good. A real mixture of 'hard' science and Buddism. Written by a man with a sense of humour!

Hopeless! I forgot the link!

www.amazon.co.uk/Compassionate-Mind-Paul-Gilbert/dp/184529713X

Not hopeless FH!

We all forget our links sometimes

.

This is all very well but where's the buddhist advice for the self-obsessed 'sensitive' types - ie a useful way of teaching them to grow a thicker skin and shut the fuck up?

Om Shanti.

Om.

Well quite, SGB. Maybe they could feel some compassion for us having to listen to them? [halo slippage emoticon]

Grace chuckles wickedly @ bibbity, SGB & Elephants. Trips over Elephant-sized halo. Curses. All pat each other kindly on shoulder, trying not to puke. Wonders if compassion may be found at the bottom of a wine bottle?

Realises what just said
... Remembers Steps 4 - 9:
Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself.
Admit [to God], to myself and to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs.
Be entirely ready to [have God] remove all these defects of character.
Humbly ask [Him] to remove our shortcomings.
Make a list of all persons I have harmed, and become willing to make amends to them all.
Make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

Realises one of said shortcomings is spending too much time on Mumsnet

Just ordered that book, feelhorrid!

Paul Gilbert would say that those over sensitive (over self-indulgent perhaps) types have a conflict between archetypes. He seems to combine a respect for everyone with a very healthy skepticism. As professor of clinical psychology at Derby he heads up the research unit, definitely not a sensitive mortal and enjoys his red wine. Perhaps that is where he finds his compassion

Mind you I write as someone whose all time favourite 'self-help' type book is the Tao of Pooh...so perhaps you should not take me too seriously

I hope you like it Grace.