older relationships

[labyrinthine]

if a woman is in her forties would she probably attract men in their fifties and above?
please discuss..
can't help noticing that the men giving me a wink and special hello are all knocking on a bit haha

I'm 40 and I'm finding the opposite.. it's the 20somethings that seem to seek me out.

My partner is 28 and we've been together 5 years

brilliant...

but you are 40,the sort of borderine age ..I am "forties" and looks fade a bit perhaps in that time..hopefully not for you though

having said that one younger man is attentive and I've been busy trying to work out if he is just being kind to an old lady or genuinely flirting...

I'm sure you're not faded at all!

Have you tried flirting back to see what happens? I think younger men like the confidence and self-assuredness that we have. Stuff that younger women get hung up over don't phase me so there are less flash points for arguments etc.

If you like him, try responding more positively to his flirts and see what happens - and keep me posted

I know what you mean about the self assuredness..apart from worries about what they may be thinking about my appearance I find it so much easier now to respond in a really nice way to people and to flirt whereas when you are young I think you are more reserved ..

just wondered if men will only pursue you when they percieve you as young enough and child bearing age or whether they just see you as you sort of thing...not expresing myself terribly well sorry

I find it's the younger men

But do you fancy the older men?

I just don't generally find them attractive - it's the younger ones for me

Maybe you're sending out "signals" to the older men?

yup.. I'm much more secure about myself now than I was in my twenties and even up to my mid-thirties.

From conversations I've had with younger men, they all say it's the person they're attracted to, and I've had the having babies conversation with my dp and he says he's not bothered about that, he just wants to be with me. Of course I know that could change in the future and I've told him that if babies do become something that he really wants then we'll have to discuss very carefully and possibly consider the end of our relationship at that point.

We do go out together, sometimes with mixed friends from both our circles, but we also go out separately with our own friends and it's working fine so far.

Of course the cynic in me says that at some point it will end but I know that although I'll be very sad, I will survive.

I've got a mate in her late forties who seems to have no probs pulling chaps a good twenty years younger than her (mind you, she looks younger than her years and tends not to tell her conquests her true age!!)

I'm knocking on 40 and have a DH in his twenties - agree with previous posters on that score!! I've seen quite a number of successful relationships between older women and men a decade or more younger, I think it's becoming more common.

Many women in their 20s (speaking from my own memories of my behaviour and preferences during that era!) often don't know what they want and don't have a great self-image, so hence often reject the "good boys" of their own age as too keen and not exciting enough - IMO those are exactly the right kind of guy for the more - ahem - experienced woman to appreciate.
[insert suitably smug emoticon]

great to hear your stories ladies

no I don't fancy the older ones...it's just I've noticed a little group of older men saying a special hello etc lately

but I'm in the middle of a rather intense flirting friendship with a younger man but unclear as to whether he thinks i'm safe as an older woman and just being kind or if it is how it seems to feel...

i look younger than my age i think but a little faded all the same lol

mm this thread has given me confidence and cheered me up no end

We don't fade.. we grow into ourselves I think. I certainly look better now than I ever have (imo)

Go for it.. what have you got to lose and you might have a lot of fun ;)

I'll keep you posted ~ what a fantastically mature attitude you have akhems

Where are all these younger men you're meeting and where can I find them?!

haha laby go for it!

If you don't want the men in their fifties, I'll have them. I really think it can be older woman/younger man just as much as older man/younger woman. Just because the media likes to make women over the age of 45 invisible doesn't mean men feel the same way! My aunt is married to someone 11 years younger than her (she is 59).

Men can prefer more mature women because they can be more interesting, considerate, have more life experience etc. Younger women can be very 'Now I want this, I want that, I want a wedding, I want a baby'. Quite stressful. Older women are more laid back.

I found when I was younger I was forever trying to get men to tone it down a bit.... life can be so unfair can't it?

Lol, my Mum started online dating after Dad died. She was 70. She had one affair with a married man, one LTR with a fantastic, jolly bloke who eventually died, and has been with her current 'boyfriend' for 4 years. He's great. All around her own age, btw.
It certainly never is too late!

Good for her Grace she sounds quite a character!

She is! More to your point, perhaps: after DH#2 (who was 12 years younger than me) and I split, he told me he dated lots of younger women but found them boring

I guess your answer is the same as always: horses for courses.

haha
It's more to do with the person really...but they do say you are usually a similar match in attractiveness as your partner for it to work so I suppose age comes in a bit there

When I looked on mysinglefriend.com, I found it was full of 40ish men (I'm 41) who said they wanted to meet a woman aged 25-35. I suppose if they want kids of their own, dating a 41 year old isn't the right thing to do (especially if she's been sterilised, like me!) but I was taken aback at how many men around 40-43 were indicating that they wouldn't consider dating a woman over 40. They don't know what they're missing!

I'm not really surprised by that at all,lilac,but I suppose there is also the chance of just hitting it off with each other in real life despite your ages...but if men[and women]were planning it online with an agency,I think most would put younger age groups down.