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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

evil ex is illegal what do i do

6 replies

kurves · 24/01/2010 09:33

This is really complicated but i need some support that i have done the right. A couple months ago i dated a guy that i knoew from way back this was in august it was great then i noticed after a week in he wwas telling me that he loved me . i had been in a abusive relationship before and read in a book that i was given about abuse that bthis was onwe of the signs when they come on really strong . I mean he was nice to the kids wouls make me breakfast in bed everthoing give me the affection i needed i thought this is great i am so happy he was so considerate and we had a really great sex life . then he said to me one ady that he wanted to spend the rest of his life wit me. i thought shit. then he said he wanted to get married then i found outvthat he was a illegal imagrant and a overt stayer in the uk.i took action.
i tried to use my brain on him to work him out ibsaid to him that i would marry him buit in 3 years time then i would have got to know hinm better and we would have built a foundation that would be crusial for a sucessful marrage. then i founsd a letterv that said that he was 27 years old had been in the country for 6 years and was to hand himself over to immmagration foir deportation.
when i bought this to his attention the guy slowly started to distance him self from me with helds sex and got reallyb rude hanging up phone on me and putting me down. Now he was not5 working so at the time i would give him food helped him fix his car and made sure he was ok but as soon as i found out his stautus i told him that he needs to get a lawyer to sort himself out but i will not be marrying him as i worked out what hewas doing.he dumped me . then he wouod call me and say i am so broke i got no money my car needs insureing. i ignored him and kept telling him that i was busy . then i got a call from him saying that he had arrested by the border force and that he had to sign on at the police staion i and that he is going to pay some one to marry him and sort himself out as he has no intention of going back to his country . he has started to befriend his other childrens mum who he mentally tore to shreads and play the good father so that he can get his papers. ido not understand why he is telling me this i reliase that he just wants to drive me crazy so much more has been done to me by this guy he said that he does not want me as he is moving on to bigger and better things i thought we are not together. i really think his mad but i feel so stupid to allow a germ like this into my life to tryu and do me over.he wants to pay some one to marry him which is totally wrong what do i do . do i tell the uk border force which i do not veen no how to do or do i just forget hijm its just that this guy as been abuseing both his kids mum and me and i feel that he needs to be chucked out the country . i am so angry at the momment been i tears help what do i do.

OP posts:
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 24/01/2010 09:44

Poor you. He sounds like a prize shit. By all means inform them if you think he is entering into a fake marriagebut they will have their own investigations and they must live together for 2 years before he can claim ILR and prove it. It is not easy to do. My DH and I just did it and we had to show things like tenancy agreements, utility bills etc etc for 2 years of living together.It isn't that easy to fake a marriage.

Then cut him out of your life - change your number and call the police if he comes to thehouse.

letsblowthistacostand · 24/01/2010 09:45

Even if he marries someone in the UK, he will still need to go back to his home country to apply for a spouse visa. You cannot get a spouse visa while in the UK unless you have entered the UK on a fiance visa, which clearly he hasn't.

Personally, I would stop taking his calls and ignore him. He sounds like a jerk. His financial situation is not your problem. If you know the woman he's dating now, you could give her a little heads up on his immigration status but otherwise just try to move on.

kurves · 24/01/2010 09:53

what he said is that he is going to pay some one to marry him a person from the EU and get all the documents made up but the thing is he when i met him he had split up from his ex and i found out that she had a domestic violence case against him and she had put in papers for him for spouse and she wrote to the home office to withdraw it but he has to now sign on at the police station cause he told them that he has no passport which he has . the shit has even started to go to church. what god does he serve

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TrippleBerryFairy · 24/01/2010 17:33

You should definitely bin him for good, don't answer his calls and take no interest in his life.

It is up to you if you want to report him. He sounds like a nasty piece of work and I think I would be tempted to do that if I was you. Especially if I knew where he keeps his passport.

FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 · 24/01/2010 17:35

why post this twice?

kurves · 24/01/2010 20:30

i posted twice by accident sorry

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