Desperately want to leave my partner but don't work so am trapped here

[AngelsBum]

I desperately want to leave my partner. I'm fed up never being listened to, ignored, put to the bottom of his list of priorities. He's controlling, lies constantly, critisises. I've just had enough.

The problem is I'm not working and although I'm trying religiously to find work, I just can't find anything at all.

This means I can't rent a house because most don't accept DSS and those that do require a guarantor (which I don't have).

Council houses are too scarse to even consider.

So how the hell do I leave??? I've saved up a deposit and months rent, I just can't get past the dss/guarantor thing. I feel trapped.

Most local councils will operate a deposit guarantee scheme, speak to them and find out what is available in your area, you are not trapped.

call the landlords and ask anyway. theres another housing benefit thread running today about this kind of thing.

I do have the deposit though, its just that they won't accept me because I would be in receipt of LHA and not paying the rent myself.

Hi Angels,

First well done for managing to save some money!
Second Could you ask him to leave? //do you fear he may become violent and do you have Dc?

The council would in effect be your guarantor. You really should give them a call and explain your situation, they probably don't have council accomodation available but they will be able to advise about other schemes including the one I have mentioned.

Hiya, i was in your situation 7 years ago. We had a lovely house and all the trappings and as i hadn't worked for a while i was terrified of what would happen to me and my girls when i left but tbh he left me no choice because of his violent temper. Like you one of my main worries was a roof over our heads. You will i assure you find somewhere, there are local authority schemes that can help you out as well and it might be worth your while asking around too, someone sometimes knows someone who is renting somewhere out.

We started in a really shitty two bed flat but that was because i had to get out quickly (and did not have a deposit) 8 months later we were in a lovely cottage (and the council lent me the deposit).

Believe me it is possible but will require some searching around on your behalf. As for finding work if there is nothing around perhaps you could do some studing or anything like that to keep you motivated. I did an access course and went to Uni within 18 months of leaving my ex.

When i moved to Surrey the local authority paid a proportion of my rent (the rest i paid with my student loan) but because they paid it directly to me i didn't have disclose that it came from the iyswim and i just said that i worked part time and was a part time student ( i was a full time student). There are ways around these things and i know it can seem really hard to get out and that these things are insurmountable but take it from me it can be done its just a little harder in your postion than it would be if you were working because of landlords aversion to having the rent paid by the LA.

Good luck i hope if you are that unhappy you manage to get out and get happy, its a hard road initially but worth it

I was in your situation once, except worse because my x was abusive and wouldn't let me leave (not that there's a prize and I'm competing! sorry).

I went to the local council and eventually realised that that was hopeless as they weren't going to house somebody who had a roof over their heads.

Well done for saving up the money. It will all come together eventually. Keep saving. Keep planning. I had to go and live with my parents which isn't everybody's dream come true but it worked for me.... it felt like a spring board for the future, not a black hole sucking me in.