DIVORCE - what was the lowest level your ex sunk to

[RocheMoutonee]

in the negotiations or post divorce behaviour?

did he hack your email?
harrass your parents?

Someone I know, during their break up because he had had an affair found his msn account and printed out the entire script of all the suff he and the mistress had talked about - really really really detailed, lots of pervy sex and a bit of cyber sex thrown in. It was pages and pages which she printed off had reproduced several times and bound properly with a title page and everything. She sent a copy to him, his parents, siblings and to his boss and he had met this women on company expenses.

She was as cool as a cucumber and nailed him for a massive settlement.

My husband stole money from accounts and tried to put my children into overnight foster care when I broke down on M25 and was late (I did call...)really horrid and annoying and not as cool as the above.

itsmelord that is unbelievable.

Mine emptied every drawer and cupboard in the house - I couldn't see any carpet in any room!
He followed me when I went out.
He would climb up the drainpipe in my house when I was at work, and I would find him asleep in my bed.
He paid taxi drivers to tell him where I was going. (his mate worked for the firm)
He gave me a list of 'acceptable behaviour' -rules I apparantly had to live by as a single women.
Refused to give me any financial help - claiming he knew I would go without myself to feed/clothe the children, and that was what he wanted.
Threw a sofa at me. I dodged it somehow.
He is still very angry with me - 18 years on! My DH is bigger than him though
It does makes me sad that I hurt him so much

undervalued - Surely you also feel relieved to have got shot of him?

Oh and up until quite recently he was convinced I had been saving money out of our joint account and putting it away to save to leave him and that I went on to live the high life on his money oookaay I wish.

Chicken - he married the first woman he dated - the rebound. He is a shadow of his former self and she rules him with a rod of iron. He is a lovely man - he was just so hurt and angry. At the time he frightened the hell out of me....

Only just started divorce proceedings, but seems fairly tmae compared to some of these.
xh left me at 8 months pregnant with dc4, shes now 4 and a bit months old, got a letter from his solicitor demanding dna testing for all 4 children!
I work part time and he promised to pay my rent as maintencence for the children whihc i was agreeable to as then my salary would be enough to pay bills and food etc, he did pay my deposit and first months rent, i then got a letter recorded delivery on xmas eve giving me notice as hed not paid the rent! my dad had to bail me out to the tune of £3300.
The worst thing is though it was his choice to leave. i've moved on and am happy but hes got a new gf and a nice house etc and hes the one that doesn;t seem to want to let go?

@ itsmelord

my ex is still very bitter, when he was seeing the DCs he would examine them for bruises then call SS and tell them I had attacked them - he even went to the school and nursery and told them to keep a special eye out. (I have never even smacked my boys once!)

He would call me to say that I had forgotten to put socks in their overnight bag (expecting me to drop everything and bring some round). Then he would text me continually over the weekend with nasty comments (just in case I was having a nice time somewhere).

He used to call twice a day, the morning call timed to be as inconvenient as possible and if he heard me shouting 'come on we're going to be late' he'd text me later to tell me I'd 'lost control again'.

Supervised contact is soooo much easier now

undervalued, don't feel sad! feel relieved. my x is like that. he gives us nothing because he says i implicitly undertook to support the children when I took them away from him. i only took them away from him because he was emotionally, verbally and sometimes physically abusive! oh and financially abusive too, so i had nowhere to go but my parents. Then he rang my parents and told them that they had "made it too easy" for me by taking me in. My mum just laughed at him and said, well i wasn't going to leave her to your tender mercies.

He wants us to be poor. He doesn't grasp that I've had my childhood. I had my music lessons and my good school etc etc.... my children don't even have a house near a good school! he's hurting them more than he's hurting me but he hates me more than he loves them.

"He would climb up the drainpipe in my house when I was at work, and I would find him asleep in my bed."

OH MY GOD!!

I know of one who asked his kids to take pics of their new home to see how it was furnished ( to assess ££)

I'm so sorry Maggie, your ex sounds like a horror! I hope you have found the strength for your children. Does he have contact?
I had to take on three jobs to keep the house when he eventually left, but fell into debt and had to sell it. We were rehoused - but to the roughest council area ever. When we moved in, every window had been smashed and covered with plyboard!
My parents were not supportive - my mother said, quote 'you have made your bed..' unquote.
There was no other man, I just outgrew him, and he became emotionally abusive and possesive as he realised I wanted out. He often called me 'thick, fat and ugly' as a'joke'.

I think I am sad for him because he hasn't really moved forward.I am now married to a wonderful man, got myself a degree and an excellent job.
I'm so glad you have support and hope you have a plan of action for the future.

Told me had cancer of the liver

Told me he had cancer of the old testicles

Rang me after the judge had decreed he must pay me 5p per year for each of the children, and COMPLAINED about it.

Tried to get off with me at my father's funeral.

I'm going to stop now, because despite all this, I've actually got a fairly decent relationship with him now.

Roche - that was a common occurance. He would search through all my drawers and wardrobe and question me about new clothing/underwear and then try to 'seduce' me!Then a couple hours of him telling me how I have destroyed him. They were very long nights; my poor neighbours!!

Same here whoisasking We even manage to talk about nice memories - usually to do with my very poor sense of direction and my rather opinionated nature.
We even watched our grandson being born, and he often drops DGS back home(he lives with me) and we laugh that he (ex) will never get me out of his life as he has been dropping kids off with me for 18 years!

Loads

Hacked email - hacked my mumsnet
Sent horrid letters to my parents
Let me down on numerous occasions re access
emailed me a photo of his p.a's tits, just so I'd know he was sleeping with her I assume (poor woman)
More violence

pmsl at telling your parents you smoke!

Dh's ex's boyfriend got a friend of his whose description would have sounded like dh to park outside dsd and her siblings' school. He then got the children to go and tell the teachers that they'd seen someone outside the school taking photos of children.

He also hired someone to go and film dh at the beach with the children in an attempt to prove he wasn't looking after them properly. Backfired though, as the beach inspectors had him picked up by the police.

Same bf also assaulted dh, so handovers were switched to the police station. Except on the next visit the police station had actually closed and moved premises (they'd moved about 80 miles away and we didn't know the town). When dh arrived at the old premises and called to find out where dsd was he said sarcastically "we're at the police station" and when dh asked where it was he refused to tell him, laughed and said "you're just going to have to find it aren't you?".

And he told dsd that dh wasn't her Dad, he was now .

Oh and when he and dsd's mum split up he phoned dh and suggested that he got a mate to go and plant drugs in her house, and would dh phone the police and say he suspected something. He described dsd's mum as the devil incarnate and like a pitbull on speed when she's angry .

It was no wonder that things actually started to improve with dsd's mum once he was out of the way. I'm convinced that if he hadn't been around dh and his ex would never have been in Court over contact. She told us years later that he used to make comments and wind her up about dsd having contact with dh/me, which clearly played on her concerns and insecurities (eg dh would take dsd and not return her/move abroad). Bastard.

my H sets up secret cameras in our home.

OMG!! Autumnlight How do you cope with that?

WHAT?? He sets up cameras in your home??? Thats harassment, it's illegal, you can have him arrested!

See? I'm so incensed I have lost the power to use correct grammar and spelling.

Re my ex - yes, he was a nob, I had a thread on here about a year ago about it because even 5 years after we split I was excluded from a family wedding because of him. (his father is a close friend of the family).

We still see him occasionally at family functions. He is still a nob, he tends to sit in the corner with his sisters and give off looks of death.

Bloody hell autumnlight!

I have a friend whose husband talked her into moving out with their children as they weren't getting on, then promptly announced he was seeing someone else and wanted a divorce . She used to go back into the family home when he was out to collect things, and would remove the new woman's clothes from the wardrobe, put ornaments back where they should be and stuff like that, then turn to the security camera smile and wave at them. But at least she knew she was being filmed.

My ex DH got his mum to tell me he was having an affair, he was 'concerned' that I'd punch him in the face. (chicken)

When we were selling our house, he'd let himself in - take what he wanted and re-seal the boxes so I wouldn't notice. (This is after we agreed how to split the items we owned) Eventually, I was just left with what he didn't want.

When I started seeing someone after we'd split for a good long time (still awaiting the divorce though) he told me that I was still married to him and shouldn't be seeing anyone! He was living with his mistress!

He called me at work one day, told me he was going to kill himself. So I left work looking for him (didn't want that on my conscience) Only to find out after hours of searching he was home and well with the mistress. (cock!)

He told me I was obese because I'd gained weight and gone from size 12 to size 14 (I'm 5' 7'')

When we got to the Decree Nisi stage of the divorce, he told the court/solicitor that he didn't want a divorce --- I had to point out that he was living with another woman before we had to start the whole process again!!

Funny thing is, as soon as he left, my career took off and I started earning really good money. Joint friends took great joy in telling him. (wish I'd seen his face! He left me 'cos the mistress' parents were loaded - he still hasn't benefited from their fortune in 13 years!!!) LMAO!!!

Mamii, he sounds a knob. He cast you in the role of cucaracha and goddamned you went and got over him (and earned more money than him!)

My ex emptied the joint bank account leaving me with no income (I was financially dependent on him) and then told me if I needed food from the shops, to write a list. He would then decide what he thought was necessary from the list and buy it for me.

He threatened to tell 'everyone' what I'd 'done' to him if I left the house to visit friends.

He went to see the health visitor to tell her I was behaving 'eratically' and he was concerned for the children.

He refused to leave my home despite the fact that his name was not on the lease, and when I finally got a solicitors letter threatening to take him to court if he did not leave, he left at 12.00 midnight exactly on the deadline.

He told the mediator that I was in the habit of forgetting to pick the children up from school - there had been a mix up ONCE over who was picking my eldest son up, I thought his father was and vice versa.

He threatened that if I called the police to try to make him leave the house, he would cling onto the children and they would have to drag him off.

I could go on....