relationships

[kiki3]

I would just like some advice as I dont know what to do, things havent been going well for a while it started when my baby died after she was born almost 2 years ago we went on to have a lovley baby boy who is 8 months old now and already have a 6 year old. My partner worked but his employers have disappeared, not payed any wages and cannot be contacted for a p45 or anything else then we had a fight- it was like he was having fun trying to wind me up and has been doing this for a while as well as putting me down and tries to embarrass me in public. He left and I have alot of debt and 2 kids to look afer-my family are not there for me when I need them, I have no friends, I'm covered in psorasis from stress and have no self esteem left I dont know if I have the strengh left to get through all this or where to start please help.

can your health visitor help? your older childs teacher? even phone the samaritans. they might be able to point you in the right direction. sorry not much help but didn't want you to go unanswered

thanks for the reply think i might try contacting the health visitor didnt think of that

KiKi you start by looking in the mirror every day and saying

"I CAN DO THIS"

Try Citizens Advice for the debt problem.

Try the families board on the moneysaving expert website - they are a very helpful bunch who will give you solid and practical advice.
Once you've tken control of your horrid situation, you will feel a lot more positive.

"Entitled to" gives information about benefits.

Yes, entitledto.com is very good.

As others have said, a good way to start is by becoming informed and confident about what you are entitled to money-wise, and make sure you are taking advantage of everything in your community like mum and baby groups (your HV will be able to tell you about some) sure start, maybe you could qualify for a sure start volunteer to help you sometimes? Just have a look at what is out there, the internet is invaluable, look for a local childrens centre and see if they have posters up, there will be posters for kids activities in your doctors surgery and library. Become informed and you will feel stronger in that way. And visit CAB re advice for debt.

Then you can start to recover mentally and emotionally, which may take longer, but at least you will be on a firm footing and have some good support in place. You may be able to get referred for some free counselling on the NHS if that is something you feel would help you, ask your doctor. There may be long waiting lists but that is all the more reason to ask about it now: by the time it comes through you will have the financial side of things sorted and be ready to start thinking about the emotional stuff.
Loads of luck to you, you will be fine MN single parents board is good as well. Take care.

Thanks everyone for the advice- feeling a bit more positive today will make an appoitment for the jobcentre and phone my bank tomorrow
not gonna let that immature idiot ruin my life anymore.

Good stuff! Well done, you've got the right attitude You'll do just fine, wait and see.
x

just found out all the time hes been putting me down and treating me like crap hes been chatting up another woman online saying how fit, sexy and gorgeous she is and how they should meet up- so glad to be rid of him now what total dog.

Hiya,
chin up! Sounds like you have been thru a LOT! Remember to have fun with your 2 lovely children. It sounds really good that you're taking steps to get in control of the debt.
Is he paying you child maintenance?

hi,
not sorted maintenance yet as we've only just split in the last few days but am going to remind him that half of the debt is his to pay, and watching the kids playing today just reminded me that things aren't all that bad.

I need help and can't find a way out,can anyone advice me.I'am married but consider myself 2 be a single parent,I have one daughter from a previous marriage.Idon't no were 2 start,the thing is I have been married almost 4 years .My situation is so bad,that I don't no what 2 do.I have no money and have not had anything 2 eat for the last 2 wks..My husband has never given me any money since we have been married.I have been living off 80 pounds child benefit and 200 pounds child maintence.That's all my daughter and I live off a month. after paying for school dinners,travel cost for the both of us and phone bill theirs not much left..My daughter and I are suffering,we are not allowed 2 sit down stairs and watch tv or allowed in any rooms...my daughter and I stay in our bedroom all day.Nobody talks 2 us.I can't use the washing machine ,so I have 2 hand wash my clothes and hange them in the shower as I'm not allowed in the garden..my mother in law tells me she prayers to god that my daughter and I die.I asked my husband if we can cliam tax credits as it would help me out,I told him that we were only entitled to 40 pounds and that it would help me pay for my daughters school dinners but he does not sign as his parents have told him not to.I can't claim anything as I'm married 2 him.I need glasses but can't afford the,I can't afford medicine I need,can't afford 2 go 2 the dentice,so I suffer.U must be thinking,just leave but its not that easy.My daughters 8 and I feel for her,she adds up things in myshopping basket,if she thinks it cost 2 much,she start putting some off the food back.pleasehelp,advice needed can I get financial assistance

Hi Sharani.You sound so desperate my love but this is a very old thread.You could perhaps re post in the relationship or chat forums and hopefully recieve the good advice that M'S netters are renowned for.Mx.

Copy your post and paste it into 'Start new thread on this topic' (top left under Topics >>Relationships) SHARANI.

If you leave the hell hole you're living in, you will get help - visit www.womensaid.org.uk and give them a call to get help with leaving.

*maras8 - i think sharan is new to mn - I directed her to the relationships board from soemwhere else, i think she is confused as to how it all works.

Sharan - click on the 'start new thread in this topic' button. You will then have a new post inthis section (which is the right section, just need your own thread).

My offer of help still stands,I feel for you.

Maras d'oh

izzyizi - I think the old thread revival is my fault for not explaining clearly to Sharan exactly how to post. She has clearly found an old thread called 'relationships' and posted because I advised her to re-post in relationships section without explaining properly.
Your instructions are clearer than mine were

Sharan obviously needs help bless her, she first posted this a couple of hours ago in LP section.

I know what it's like to be the newperson.Nice that everyone's being so helpful.

I'm worried about her tbh. Is there anything I can do? i've offered to take her food if she's in my area. Its breaking my heart thinking of the house she is living in. sadly, saw the same situation once before.

The women's aid helpline is 0808 2000 247. It's a free number sharan. Yes you can get financial help and no you don't have to live like this. There are people to help you. Please call.