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Doing legal wedding bit separate...

3 replies

ButterPie · 19/01/2010 03:07

Is this a daft idea? We are planning on getting married at some point this summer, but considering just nipping down the register office asap in jeans and t shirts and getting passers by to be witnesses, just to get the legal bit out of the way. Then at our actual wedding we can do what we like (thinking of getting a humanist celebrant if we can afford it, if not we can read stuff ourselves and then just have a bit of a party with our friends and family)

My mum is going a bit mother-of-the-bridezilla about the whole thing though, is she likely to be bothered about coming to the signing of forms bit?

OP posts:
NotQuiteCockney · 19/01/2010 07:39

We did this - well, we had immediate family at the registry wedding, and did it the day before the public wedding. It worked well for us.

I think most people at the public wedding didn't realise it wasn't a legal wedding, iyswim.

angel1976 · 19/01/2010 09:01

If your mum is exhibiting mother-of-the-bridezilla behaviour now, she will FLIP if you decide to get the legal bit out of the way without her there... We thought the same as you and DH's parents are very modern (only late 40s when we got married!) so we didn't think it would be a problem. We needed to get married for legal reasons.

When they found out the plan, the fallout was terrible: DH was summoned home for 'talks', SIL was in tears over not being the 'bridesmaid' (doesn't matter we had no intention of having one anyway...), how the 'party' would not be the real wedding without the signing of certificate etc... Anyway, we caved and let the inlaws have the wedding they wanted. I think it's a generational thing TBH. I wouldn't have any problems with anyone else wanting to do what we did.

happysmiley · 19/01/2010 09:44

We did something similar to what you are planning with a registry office wedding a couple of weeks before the "main event".

We had no dramas from either set of parents, but we clearly explained up front what we were doing and why, we and invited our parents to the registry office wedding and all went for dinner afterwards.

If anyone was going to cause a fuss in our family, it was my mum and she had her issues, which she felt free to voice, but at the end of the day she did just get on with it. Having the main wedding makes the legal bit less of a problem as she could make as much of fuss about the big wedding day as she wanted and came over all mother of the bridezilla about that instead.

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