access to the former family home - advice needed please

[ednaturnblatt]

will try and keep this as brief as possible:

My Ex and I split up nearly 2 years ago. We were not married but own a house together. When we first split discussed who wold move out, he refused and in the end I did (because i had started a new relationship, & to be amicable with my Ex). Since then i have lived in a small rented house, Ex has lived in our much larger one - which still haslots of my furniture etc in it as I has no room for it.

In the long term the 'plan' was meant to be that the house would be sold, money split etc. This hasnt happened. have also asked Ex if he would buy me out (cant afford to) or he would let me buy him out (didnt want to). In reality, we are no further forward, house not likely to be sold any time soon if Ex has anything to do with it, it seems.

In the meantime, my landlord is selling my rented house so I have to move out by the end of this month. I've said to Ex I would like to move back in to house in order to get it sorted out and hopefully sold. I have already moved various belongings back there - although the house was already full of my things as my rented house was too small so i left them behind when i first moved in here) Ex has now turned on me, says I must remove everything that is mine immediately, and that he has been advised legally I have no rights to enter the house, or have anything of mine in it.

This is not my understanding. I have not paid the mortgage since I moved out, but only because my rent was actually higher - also Ex has paid me nothing for the DC. If I did move back then I would obviously start paying towards it again.

I know I need to get some legal advice on this, but obviously cant do anything til Monday, so am worrying/stewing over this...does anyone know if Ex is right in what he says? Or have any other advice?

I am no legal expert, but surely if you jointly own it, he cannot prevent you from entering it, unless he has some kind of restraining order against you.

portofino - that is my understanding. However, he has very confidently stated I have no rights, and that he has been legally advised of this, but he could be lying.

If he had got a restraining order would i know about it? On what grounds could he get one - I have not been violent to him or made threats, etc - are there other grounds?

He has no right to stop you entering the house or staying there or removing stuff that is yours - one of my friends tried to get her husband banned from their house after they split and that is what she was told.

MadameC - thanks, thats good to hear. Am thinking that maybe he is just bluffing me, because he wants/likes having house to himself indefinitely

As far as I know he can't stop you entering the house....but I do think you not contributing to the mortgage for a while may work in his favour.

As you say you need proper advice, but thought you could do with being aware that he may have some leverage due to the non mortgage paying.

I have a friend going through a split and she was advised she had to keep paying her share of the mortgage to protect her share of the house.

Zoomy - thanks; on thinking about it I've only not been paying the mortgage since last Feb. I was paying that and also rent prior to that. Ex has given me no money for the DC since I left. I do have some savings which would probably cover my share of the mortgage for the last year, so could pay as a lump sum if necessary - our mortgage is not one of those where you are penalised for making additional payments so that wouldnt be a problem.

you do have rights to enter the property ut relaistically an pragmatically he aint going to move out is he? so i think you will have to sort out something temporary eg rent another property -

but a court can order a sale and decide on proportion each should get from proceeds.

you need to apply to court for sale of the property property under the trusts of land act. if you have children you can also apply for proportion for children under childrens act.

see www.edwardsduthie.com/case-plan-for-trust-of-land-act-(with-children).html

If it was me edna, and I could make the payments without causing myself too much hardship. I'd make up the missing amount direct to the mortgage company asap before your ex has the chance to 'action' any plans to diddle you out of your percentage/access rights. Thwart his plans before they start.

Unfortunately it does sound as if he has been making official type inquiries somewhere.

Good Luck.

Have you continued to pay the mortgage?

sorry - scrap that - I see you haven't.

He I think, has more rights if he has paid the mortgage since you left but as you presumably are named on the mortgage you do have some rights.

I think you need to see a solicitor who could make him buy you out but you may not be entitled to half of the equity now. To buy you out he would need to see the lender and borrow more so that you get a share. If he can't afford to do this then I assume (but am not sure) that he could be legally asked to sell the house to give you your 'share' but your share would reflect the fact that he has paid the mortgage for the last 2 years.

DF- he definitely cant afford to buy me out. I've asked him to do this before. He wont agree to me buying him out (I could afford to).

Its actually only been since Feb last year that I havent paid the mortgage. Part of the reason I stopped paying was because Ex was overspending & running up debt - he spent over £5000 on a holiday for him & the DC which he took out of the account linked to our mortgage, so effectively both our money. for this reason until I have spoken to a lwyer am a bit reluctant to pay any more on the mortgage as Ex will then be able to access & spend this himself

When we bought the house I put down a large deposit (from sale of my previous home) He had no money/savings at the time so contributed nothing. We then got a joint mortgage for the balance of purchase price.

He's bluffing!
I've had some advice from the other end so to speak. There is a marriage involved but don't think it matters on the mortage bit.
If your name is on the mortgage, you have a right of access. After all, your landlord has access to your house.
You are both liable for the mortgage, but that just means if one of you stops paying the mortgage company expects the other one to pay. As for you not paying, you're not living there, so think of it as him paying rent for sole use.
He doesn't get to choose not to sell up. You can make him, but it may involve solicitors but if you can afford to, he has to sell the house to you.
Not sure how joint assests work without marriage, but I think you get what you put in and you have to split equity 50/50. But you have a kid, so it may not be 50/50, if you have the DC more than he does. Your need is greater.
So probably good news for you, but pretty crap for me as I'm on the receiving end of a non-payer.
Sorry, but why isn't he paying for his child or have you got shared access?