Does he want to take things slowly?

[newme2010oroldme]

Ok so I have been dating a guy, and met up recently and after a few drinks went back to his. We were going to sleep together and did everything but, as he wasn't very hard. But he seemed very into me and wanted me to stay the night, but I had to get home for dd.

He has seemed very keen scince. We met up a couple of days later, went out then I went back to his after, and we were chatting with his flat mate then I went home. Later when texting I said something like I thought he would have wanted to take me upstairs. He replied by saying he would like to but didnt want me to think that is all he is interested in...

So now I'm wondering if he does really fancy me. He said to me he wants this to go somewhere. And he texts me alot and when we go out wants to pay for everything etc, so seems interested.

But I just wonder why he was not hard when we were together, but could be because he drank alot.

I'm just used to guys being very forward and even when they do like me alot seem very keen to get me into bed. Now I feel like i'm being pushy and trying to get him into bed...

Men can't do right for doing wrong sometimes!

It sounds like he is trying to take a respectful amount of time getting to know you. It seems like he does value your company and brewers droop is highly common, don't worry about that in itself for now.

He seems interested and says he wants this to go somewhere? What do you want out of this?

Just out of curiosity, how much alcohol gives a man brewers droop?

DH can have say 3/4 pints ( strong ale) and a couple of big whiskys and still be good to go, but he doesn't always come after that much to drink, which isn't very often tbh.

OP - I think next time you want sex to happen, lay off the booze and see how he is then.

Ecomouse - you are right, if he was trying to get me in to bed, I would be complining, and if hes not i also complain... Well I'm just tryin to enjoy myself, if things go further fine, if not, thats fine too. but as i say all the others guys i have known in the past have always been very forward, so just feeling maybe he doesn't fancy me that much. But yes i do think he is trying to be respectful...

Malificence - this is what i tried to do last time and we didnt even make it to his bedroom... But he did say there will be loads of time for that...

I feel like I am the one being more forward with this guy, which I am not used to, and usually like to feel the man is more forward then me, so I still feel like a lady...

So, he's trying to treat you like a lady and only making you feel less like one?

I can understand that you're concerned about him not fancying you but it really could have been alcohol consumption, nerves or a genuine wish to wait a little longer. Wait and see, if he's worth it

Mal, given tolerance levels differ wildly with alcohol in general, I'd imagine it's quite specific to the man in question. Sorry I can't offer up a more interesting answer

Yea it is too early to tell, so will just have to wait and see...

Maybe he really likes you and is nervous. This exact same thing happened to me with new bloke, the first couple of times. I still wondered if it was me until he told me about a conversation he had with his mate a few days after we finally did the deed where he said "the worst happened mate, couldn't get it up, too nervous and too much of a build up!"

I think it is pretty common especially where he hasn't been "active" for a while previous to your "encounters" .

I have a male friend that is behaving exactly this way with someone he started seeing just before Xmas. He recently came out of a few casual relationships/one night stands in previous months and he says with this girl, he wants to get to know her better. I.e. he trying to be a bit more respectful. But he is also not looking for a serious relationship, i.e. he plans to go travelling later this year and doesn't want to change his plans. SO i think its a bit of ambivalence in general in that he likes this girl, likes her company, but doesn't want it develop into anything really serious.

Dunno if that helps, probably not.

Well its good to know that I am not the only one this has happened to. And I'm not to worried weather he wants it to be a long term thing or not, as I'm not completely sure what I want out of it myself. But some bedroom action would be nice.