1st relationship counselling session tonight-what happens- very anxious!

[Sunshine2]

Will the counsellor make us recount all our problems in one session. Worried I will be a bubbling wreck. Also don't know if Dh will contribute much as he is a very private person

It's a bit of a history taking tbh and explaining how you got 'here', really.

Don't be anxious. If you cry, it's really ok. They will create the opportunity fr your h to talk, they will expect his input.

Good luck I know how scared you are xx

Thanks scorps. Just don't want to be the deranged wifey talking & crying non-stop. Know Dh not keen on going but we just seems to go round & round in circles by ourselves. He kissed a work colleague at night out. I can block it out but think about it all the time just wishing this hadn't screwed everything up. Until this I thought we had a good relationship but I don't think I can ever forget it or trust him again. I really hope counselling can help because I love him so much. Can't handle my mind spinning all the time

we both had a really positive experience with relate so dont worry - they are so good at making sure both people talk and they are on your side of course

they ask 'what brings you here' and what would you like to get from the sessions. they tell you about how it might work. You also may talk about how you met.

We came out feeling loads better.

Thanks newgirl. I really hope this will work & help me move forward. Dh making such an effort in all other ways but I have always been the type to not let things go. I know I must let go to better our relationship. I have never talked to anyone about our relationship & feel sick at the thought of it. Know dh will be worse as he is so private

(((hugs))) to you
let us know how you got on

Be open and honest and don^t be scared of saying the wrong thing

we did six sessions and it wasnt really about pouring out feelings - we did some practical exercises that were about communication - we talked about how all couples talk rather than directly us eg some people communicate their love through words, others through actions. It was never embarrasing - it felt 'practical' if that makes sense - i am sure it will be be much better than you think

I feel sick thinking about it but realise it is so important for us to try. I just think it will all be very awkward with me talking non stop & DH just sitting there. Really hope the counsellor will help him open up.

Sunshine they may offer you each an individual session which helped me and my DH - I personally think our therapist wanted to the "riot act" to both of us (she took no prisoners but it was what we needed).

Good luck - it turned my marriage around.