Hi,
I am in need of some urgent advice please. I have posted before briefly about my situation. I am married (6 years) with one DD of 13 months.
My husband in the last few years has become more and more verbally abusive. When in a particularly bad row he has threatened to try to paint me as an unfit mother and take custody of DD if we were to split up. I am no angel - I suffer from depression/anxiety, can be neurotic and highly strung and am not, I imagine, the easiest person to live with. However, notwithstanding this, I am aware that the way he can treat me in a bad mood is not acceptable and we have got to a fairly bad stage where we are aware that something needs to change somehow (except that he denies anything is his fault and sees himself as the victim).
Most of our rows currently get to the "right we're splitting up" bit quite quickly. I do not want to leave my marriage unless it is absolutely necessary. i want us to seek help.
This is all slightly by the by (sorry for length). My main point is that the mortgage has awlays been in my name and I owned this house before I met him and up until baby arrived always paid the mortgage. At the moment I am not earning, so he has to pay mortgage and it is on a poor deal so we need to change it to bring repayments down. We may only be able to do this by putting it in joint names, but i am terrified of doing this in case we split up tomorrow and I lose it. Maybe that seems unfair but if we do split up I expect him to play dirty, and it seems like I am handing him this on a plate and could become trapped not to mention potentially losing everything that I paid into into it over the years.
but i don't have a good excuse for not agreeing to it (currently we are in the red every month as cannot afford repayments) and the mortgage offer will run out end of january. We are not ready to have the big talk yet, so i don't know how to get out of this without a confrontation which I just can't handle at the moment.
Can someone help me see sense please?