Has anyone ever managed to 'cure' impotence?

[MsTyfied]

I have been seeing a man for the last few months who cannot sustain an erection during penetration. He told me before we first slept together so he's not pretending it doesn't happen. And while he is very attentive in bed and always makes sure I am satisfied, I would like a shag to be blunt! He is 30, in good health and doesn't drink very much (and never when we spend the night together). He is capable of having an orgasm with manual or oral stimulation so it's not like he can't at all, it's just the penetration bit that's the problem.

He has been to see his GP who says there is nothing physically wrong with him. We have managed to have penetrative sex once but only after he had taken a Viagra pill.

Is that the only way or will it get better in time? The only other thing I can think of that may be causing it is that he does watch a lot of porn which doesn't bother me but I wondered if it might be a factor.

Any ideas?

I'd say the porn could well be a factor - perhaps if he abstains from it for a few weeks ( along with masturbation) his appetite for real, emotional sex will come back.
You could try a cock ring on him to give him confidence, one of the thicker, doughnut style ones should have the required effect, they simply trap the blood and maintain the erection.

Is he physically fit and healthy?

Cheers Malificence. I have already suggested he knocks the porn on the head for a bit but will suggest he takes a break for a week or so - he is going to go crazy without wanking for that long . Cock ring is a good idea too, will give that a go.

As far as I know he's in pretty good health - he walks to work every day and cycles a fair bit too. He also plays the drums which is quite physical.

Hmm - heavy reliance on porn and inability to have sex with a real woman? My instincts would be screaming 'run away, run away, the heavy psychological problems are coming!'. I'd tread very, very carefully getting involved with him, if I were you.

It's a psychological block then. Maybe he actually doesn't like penetrative sex but doesn't want to admit it. You could try a cock ring, they are often helpful in sustaining erections - how does he feel about using one? Basically does it bother him that the two of you are not having full intercourse? Because if it doesn't, then there's not much likelihood of the situation changing.

One other thought, is he a bit scared of ejaculating inside you? Or he may even be affected by wearing condoms.

The mind's a funny thing and if he can orgasm in every other way, it could be an "issue" that he may not even realise he has. If you are still using condoms then you can get them with a built in erection ring.

Other aspects of sex are all very nice but nothing beats a damn good seeing to!
With me and DH , we don't feel like we've actually had "proper" sex unless we've finished off with penetration + orgasm. Our "problem" is almost the opposite of yours, DH can rarely come if he's not inside me , it's causing real issues because he has to provide another semen sample for testing after his vasectomy ( his first one was still positive, god knows how!) - we tried for an hour and a half last time with no results, so frustrating. If I leave him alone for a week, he hasn't got enough self control to pause and reach for that pot when we do get down to it! He won't even try and do it himself.

He does like penetrative sex. Well I'm fairly sure he does. We have a very open relationship when it comes to talking about likes and dislikes in the bedroom and we did fuck about 5 times when he had taken the Viagra pill.

abedelia - you could be right. I'm not deeply emotionally involved with him thankfully and our sex life is great apart from this issue. I appreciate it may seem like a huge one but as someone who's never orgasmed through penetrative sex alone, it's not critical. But like malificence says, it does feel a bit unfinished.

I'm sure the condoms don't help. I know I'm clear of STDs but I'd want him to get checked out before ditching them.

My thoughts are that oral or manual is a bit more 'porny' to him than the fully intimate act of penetrative sex. I'd just beware of him having a problem with intimacy...

Hi there, name changed for this for obv reasons!

I didn't have an identical situation to you in that there was no porn use, but when I first met DH he had exactly the same issue.

We used Cialis and it worked very well, DH's problem was def psychological and not physical (was checked over by a doctor). He was 26 when we met and after relying on cialis for a while it just got to the point where he could do it by himself without needing the tablets, if that makes any sense!

I think that if the viagra is working then I would probably carry on with it and see where you get.

Every now and then we might have a recurrence of the old issue, but tbh it's been so long since it happened I haven't even thought about it.

We have two DC now, conceived naturally!