Every night since I have found out that XP has a love interest I have been having dreams about sabotaging his relationship with her, and dreaming about what she looks like and him rubbing it in.
A brief history is that I had to leave XP because of his violence, towards me and the DC, he has raped/humiliated/punched/kicked me and still continues to try to abuse be within the boundaries of his bail conditions (mentally)
I have sabotaged 2 of his relationships before, one through jealousy and one through the fact it was one of my closest friends 17 year old sister, although I have been seeking professional help and she suggests that I might be making excuses for myself, which may well be true.
I know I can't be with this guy, so why do I give a shit?