Does your dp/dh have a problem with your weight?

[AnnaInManchester]

I was just thinking about an ex of mine whom for about 6 months I lived with. I was only about a size 16 then (I'm a size 20 now!) and he was so mean to me. He was always commenting on my weight and putting me down, and if I fished for a compliment he always said he wouldnt compliment me because I was too fat to look nice!

The final straw was when he got back from his holiday and I met him at the coach station as I had been staying with my friend while he was away and we had absolutely nothing in the fridge or freezer and we were both ravenous so we stopped at a kfc style takeaway on the way home and he ordered chicken and chips for himself then told me I couldnt have nothing because he didnt want me going any fatter! It could have scarred me for life but it didnt and i'm totally over him and happy with how I look!!!

what a b***d toitoishell

I hate it when ppl only see whats on the outside on not on the inside.

ooooh, plz do let us know nemo

AnnainManchester - in defence of dh I think he actually is thinking of me - it's not a 'control' thing from his point of view, more a 'you would be happier, and so would I', and I think it is reasonable for him to have an opinion, BUT, what gets me down is the CONSTANT mentioning it.

I'm sort of lucky that I haven't had a huge weight problem although do fluctuate between about an 8-12. I used to go out with a guy when I was at uni (he didn't last too long by the way), he cooked me dinner one night and as I was eating said 'you eat more than most of my friends no wonder you aren't skinny' at a size 10 at the time I turned around and said back 'well I'm not exactly fat'.
dh and I hassle each other a bit but it is more self critism than anything but the scary thing is trying to think about how all this self critism will impact on our daughter I don't want her to be paranoid or be really critical of others.

i used to be a 10-12 then met my ex and i went upto a 16-18 then split up with him stayed that way for two years, then started going out with my dp last year (we had been best friends for years before so he'd seen me change quite a bit) then i went on a diet and am now a size 12 again, he says he prefers me the way i am now as he can see i have more confidence (although i think he worries about attention i get from other men now when i go out) but says he loves me however i look

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh aint it cute [puke emotion]

kama I agree entirely, only couldn't word it as well

Exactly, kama. Whilst I still love DH, it is better for him not to be carrying the extra 4 stone from a health point of view. When we first met, he was still big IYKWIM, but kept fit by going to the gym and playing rugby. He does neither now, takes no exercise at all, and I would support him (as he knows) by helping with the diet, exercise etc. but he chooses to do none of these.
I don't criticise hime. but I prefer him not being obese, and being very personal for a mo, it's not much fun being intimate with someone 10 stone more in weight than you. Sorry if I offended anyone there.

This is an interesting thread. My dp and i have discussed this before. I am very thin (too thin in my opinion) and my dp is fairly slim too but worrying about his growing pot belly... Anyhow, we have talked about "if you got fat..." and it bothers me that he wouldn't like it if i did (i would like him to love me no matter what) and can't guarantee he would want to stay with me. On the other hand, it bothers HIM that I say the opposite, that i love him whatever happens to his weight (for me it would be about health only), and he's threatened by that in a different way. He says he wants to have pressure from me to do something about him putting on weight.

A few years ago I l;ived with a chap who ALWAYS hated my weight, I was a size 12 but VERY hippy, as are all my family- I had to subsist on 1000 calories a day to stay that way, but he always made jokes about how heavy he was. Fast forward six years, I am now a size 16, and my DH thinks I am the perfect weight! I start weightwatchers next week as I have a family history of BP problems, but I dont think DH really wants me to go, I'm smaller than any of his past girlys and not unfit, I walk a lot, I just eats LOADS of fairly heakthy food (I mean loads!).

Interestingly, he is 5'10" and ten stone.

Tortoiseshell, are you four feet tall or something? I'm the same size as you (i.e. 14 in some shops, 16 in others) and my jaw would hit the floor if anyone, let alone a guy who was supposed to love me, suggested I dieted even once! I really feel for you and I agree it's a control thing. I can't get my head around why someone would find you attractive enough to go out with you/sleep with you and then bitch about your weight.

(Slightly off-topic but it really, really pisses me off how a size 14 is supposedly 'large'.)

dh thinks i am a fatgit.

snafu, I do think I am too big, and would tend towards a 16 as my first choice off the peg iyswim, and have a nice surprise sometimes! I've always been quite big round the hips, so it really does depend on the style of clothes. Not 4 foot, but not very tall - 5'4 or so.

DP doesnt have a problem at all befor ds i was thin really thin now im avarage/bordering on podgy! but he says he like me beeter as i am as he doesnt like really skinny girls anyway and im happy with my figure!

No. But I've always been a naturally slim person and I also love sport and all athletics.

in a nutshell no he loves my love handles, even though am quite fat.