I have asked my husband to leave tonight. I have done it before, but that usually results in one of us phoning the other and him coming back the same day.
There is a long history. His ex wife is a nightmare and he will never stand up to her, which makes life hard for us. I have a history of on/off depression, although I seem to have got that sorted now.
We are both quite strong minded people, and DH is very, very career minded. In fact, he said tonight that if I threw him out again it wouldn't look good for his career... We do argue a fair bit, we have been married for a year, and prior to that we had both lived alone for some time and making the adjustment to living with someone else has been quite hard for both of us. I gave up my own business when we married to move and live with DH and am now unable to work for various practical reasons.
I am eight weeks pregnant now. I have very bad morning sickness and have lost half a stone already due to this. I have tried to do things, but standing for too long or moving about too much makes me feel worse and very dizzy as I cannot keep much food down. Today, I went back to ned, and DH told me he was fristrated as I couldn't 'be bothered' to do anything.
There have also been two incidents of violence. One at the start of the year, and one on holiday just before I found out I was pregnant. Alcohol was involved both times (husband was very, very drunk) and my family know what has happened. After the second time, DH has made an effort to get help, has taken responsibility for what he did (previously he blamed me) and has stopped drinking. I have to admit that the second time I retaliated/protected myself. However, I can't help but feel it may happen again, and he gets very frustrated if I mention the 'incidents'.
I think he would probably be quite controlling if I let him be, early on in our relationship he was a bit jealous and said he didn't like me going out as he was worried I would be unfaithful etc. I did tell him then that I wouldn't change my behaviour for any man, as I wasn't doing anything wrong, and he accepted that. I do pretty much what I like. However, sadly, he sees this as somehow meaning he is 'better' than most men who have/do hit their partners, as he doesn't 'lock me in the house, stop me using the phone or doing things'.
Overall, and those things aside, I do feel we have a good relationship, odd as that might sound. I would like to sort things out, but I really don't know if there is a chance. On top of which, due to previous occurances, DH obviously hasn't taken me very seriously when I asked him to leave. I have to admit, I am hoping that it will be the encouragement he needs to realise things have to change, although I fully realise that he may decide to stay away for good.
I just feel all over the place. The tempation to ring and ask him to come back is overwheliming, which is ridiculous.