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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

ok - to go on a months hoiliday with another man?

44 replies

Stopshopping · 01/01/2010 01:05

An old male widowed friend (of both mine and DH) has invited me and my kids on a month long expedition next year - DH not interested in going but ok with me going (I think!)We have shared interets - have neer been naughty but i suppose ther is a slight frisson there as he is an interesting guy.
This will be a fantatsic expedition for my boys but wondered am I playing with fire even within my very secure and happy marriage?

OP posts:

thelunar66 · 01/01/2010 23:26

Wow... go go go... what a fab trip for you and the DC!

Original poster

Stopshopping · 01/01/2010 23:30

yeh thats what I think and the guy is super reliable - great diver and just generally very competent - also built like a tank - so I would feel very ''safe'' My oldest will be 12 and I just think that soon I woulnt be able to justify him missing 2 weeks+of school

OP posts:

SolidGoldpiginablanket · 01/01/2010 23:30

Look, the only people who's opinions actually matter are you, your H and the kids. If they are all fine, never mind what anyone else thinks, go and have a great time.

TigerDrivesAgain · 01/01/2010 23:33

You should go. What does what other people think matter? Forget them. It's what you, your DH and your friend thinks that's important.

I'd jump at the chance to do something like this and to take DS.

And let's face it, if you were going to do the nasty with someone you'd find someone to do it with anyway, and hardly on the roof of a 4x4 with an audience!

Original poster

Stopshopping · 01/01/2010 23:33

tx - SGB - that would be my normal response but it is a long trip

OP posts:

Original poster

Stopshopping · 01/01/2010 23:35

lol - yeh must say the idea of us rolling around on the top of the landy did make me smile

OP posts:

thelunar66 · 01/01/2010 23:36

Yes, it is a long trip... but surely that's what makes it the trip of a lifetime and unmissable!

Go woman!

WhatFuckingYearIsItAnyway · 01/01/2010 23:38

see you in 6 months time on the relationships thread

Monty100 · 01/01/2010 23:50

SS - you were the first to think it.

See ya!

WhatFuckingYearIsItAnyway · 01/01/2010 23:55

SS, I think if you had posted this question without the references to "frissons" and "intellectually stimulating" and "being naughty", I think you would have had an almost unanimous "go for it"

but....

have you told your husband how you really feel about this bloke ?

hambler · 02/01/2010 00:01

what a great opportunity.
Go!

JustAnotherManicMummy · 02/01/2010 00:34

Go. Have a great time and behave as you would were your husband watching (if he's anything like my DH he won't mind you getting a bit tipsy and having long chats, but would baulk at any cuddling etc)

You only live once. Make the best of it.

Original poster

Stopshopping · 02/01/2010 00:46

WhatFuckingYearIsItAnyway - I wouldnt want to go with a boring clod lol and I did want to be honest in the post. My husband is aware I like this bloke - we have all been friends for 20yrs - we have had a chat and DH said do you want to sleep with x and I said no but you know we get on well - ie the wine and long chats re JAMM and he said fine. Glad my DH knows me well

OP posts:

Kiwinyc · 02/01/2010 12:55

Wow sounds like a fabulous trip! I'd jump at the chance. All the naysayers obviously can't control themselves and think no one else can either. Sounds like your DH is supportive and trusts you and you know you can trust yourself so why not. All the better to spend so much time with someone you can flirt with!

And who gives a rats what other people think?! Have a fantastic time!

WhatFuckingYearIsItAnyway · 02/01/2010 14:05

don't say I didn't warn you

seriously, why ask if everybody is 110% hunky-dory with it all ?

but that really isn't the impression I got

however, it is your life, you know everyone involved, go for it, don't be swayed by doom'n'gloomers like me

Original poster

Stopshopping · 02/01/2010 14:33

WhatFuckingYearIsItAnyway - Sorry if I gave you the wrong impression - I was just trying to be honest in my 1st post rather than do a slow reveal etc -

my marriage is fine lol but we are slighly less conventional than other couples - not in a swinging sort of way - just we give each other alot of freedom - I am a very strong personality and I sometimes wonder ''what other people think'' as some of our friends are quite conservative and MN is a great place to get lots of different opinions

OP posts:

Hulababy · 02/01/2010 14:38

I couldn't go on holiday for a month without DH, regardless of another male being involved. DH would hate being apart from me for so long, and vice versa - and he would miss DD massively, and DD would hate to be away from DH for so long.

overmydeadbody · 02/01/2010 15:24

Go.

I'm with Solid on this one.

Being faithful means not acting on impulses and controlling your attraction to others, not never being attracted to others in the first place.

overmydeadbody · 02/01/2010 15:26

and you sound slike you have a very strong good relationship with your DP.

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