X caught by DD

[mmrred]

DD's Dad and I have been split for years and we've both remarried.DD went round to see him this afternoon, he knew she was coming (she'd got the train down as generally he's too idle to come get her) and when she walked in he was on the sofa petting with a topless young woman who is definitely NOT his wife.

DD just froze and then ran for it - apparently he's phoned her since and left a message apologising.

Any ideas what to say to her?

You really LET her have the talk with him herself?

Then both you and him are putting his relationship issues on her shoulders.

I totally agree with Morningpaper on this one.

I would have called him myself, and been totally livid that he has put his (and your) CHILD in this position. This is nothing for a child to deal with.

And I respect your opinion, but I know DD best, and I felt this was her call. Actually I think it was about their relationship issues - as she said when we were discussing it (and I suggested the option of me taking the responsibility and phoning him) he tends to see her as his 'wingman' - gives her adult information, uses her as an alibi etc.

She very much wanted to have the confidence to tell him how she felt herself, and make those feelings heard.

Anyway, she seems very positive today. She was laughing about some of the things he had said (how predictable they were)and I think she feels quite empowered.

mmrred - I think you were right to 'let' her call him - she's 15 not 5. She's well entitled to have a relationship with her father that isn't micro managed by you.

I'm glad she appears to be dealing with this so well, but please, don't forget to have the 'not all men are bastards' talks to her too... it really can be damaging at that age to realise that even a man you trust can do this to someone he is supposed to love (and if he can, then surely they all can/will?!).