Umm ... Just in case you revisit your thread (though I hope you'll be too post-orgasmically zoned out to log on!) ...
In my vast, if time-distanced, experience, most men think "making a woman come" is something you can learn like learning to use a double-clutch shift drive.
This is why, if they've been "great at oral" with one woman, they think they've got The Technique and no woman need ever worry again Incidentally, that's another good reason why faking orgasm is a bad idea ;)
They need introducing to the idea that it's not just another type of engine, there are a million different sub-types. Like, if you drive your 1980 Porsche as if it'd been born as your twin, you're going to find it's a whole different ball game when you get behind the wheel of a 2009 Ferrari. Etc.
DH prolly thinks you like to finish yourself off because you prefer it. The poor boy, has he never experienced the unsurpassed joys of coming together with you?? Tsk.
I'm going to suggest a slightly different approach, PHM (if you're still here). You're already holding a winning hand [lol] as you know how to do it yourself. So the question is more of simultaneous pleasure, rather than no pleasure. I wouldn't like to be too personal, so I'll just shout this - HOW MANY DIFFERENT POSITIONS DO YOU KNOW?
Hardly any women come through vaginal intercourse alone. It ain't true about lack of nerve endings in there, btw, it's more a matter of angles & dimensions - anyway, moving swiftly on:
What you want is lots of clitoral stimulation during the crucial moments. You need to experiment with this - the best way to start is by sitting on top, where you can wiggle around to get the optimum level of - er, frottage for you. (This is also handy for size & angle mismatches, btw). Our clitoral nerves extend all the way down the inside of our thighs, too, so sit-on-top is ideal for getting your legs in position for all-the-way-along contact with his
Obviously, you don't want to be calculating geometry at the height of your passion! So stick a pillow under his knees if you're less than perfectly springy in the thigh department, it makes life easier. And - remember to Feel The Lurve. 90% of sexual activity happens in the brain
Blushes and returns to own psychologically-disturbed thread .... Happy 2010!