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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Age differences?

23 replies

oldagedp · 30/12/2009 15:14

Have met a guy, and things might develop..I know he is very attracted to me, but not sure if he is thinking of anything longer-term, despite our great chemistry, as I am OLDER.

Does 8 years younger seem a lot to you? He is mid 40s, me early 50s, but people ( who don't know me) think I am mid 40s.

I know he would never say age was the issue, but I feel insecure.

OP posts:
diedandgonetodevon · 30/12/2009 15:17

Doesn't sound like a huge gap to me. The older you get the less age matters tbh.

Just go for it

Bessie123 · 30/12/2009 15:19

that's not a big gap

MamaLazarou · 30/12/2009 15:22

I don't think it matters in the slightest. Enjoy yourself! xx

timelordvictorious · 30/12/2009 15:23

Not at all.

Go for it, and enjoy!

WhatNoLunchBreak · 30/12/2009 15:23

My mother is 9 years older than her now-DH - it has never been an issue. If it's right, it's right. No need to feel insecure.

havoc · 30/12/2009 15:29

A friend of mine is 10yrs older than her partner and it doesn't cause them great probems.

would it bother you if he was eight years older than you?

Go for it!

InMyLittleHead · 30/12/2009 15:39

8 years is nothing

AMumInScotland · 30/12/2009 15:46

I don't think 8 years is significant once you get to both being past the immaturity of teens and early twenties - you're both old enough to know what you like - if you're attracted to each other then go for it!

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 30/12/2009 15:56

Sounds fine to me.

DH is 14 years older than me, we met when I was 21.

It has never been an issue, we have been together 14 years

Go for it!!

mrsboogiefairylights · 30/12/2009 16:18

I am 13 years older than my DP, it has never been an issue although I can see it might be one day. But people break up for all sorts of reasons so it doesn't make any difference, in the end.

JodieO · 30/12/2009 16:24

I'm 8 years older than dp, he's 23 in a couple of weeks and I was 31 in Nov. He's not immature at all, in fact, he's the most mature man I've been with and I was married for 7 years....

wouldn't change things for the world now.

squashedfrogs · 30/12/2009 16:24

There's 8 years between me and DP and it's not been a problem at all.

said · 30/12/2009 16:26

I'm 7 years older. Age gap not a problem (except when he doesn't remember stuff from my childhood. How unreasonable is that?)

Plumm · 30/12/2009 17:10

Go for it - you only live once.

SleighGirl · 30/12/2009 17:16

8 years is nothing particularly once you're out of your twenties.

I met dh when he was early 20s and I'm 5 years older than him, it's not been an issues at all.

AnAuntieNotAMum · 31/12/2009 14:34

Does he have children? I think that's the main problem with the older woman/younger man thing (have been there myself), if the man decides he wants his own children at some point and you can't have them anymore.

Mamulik · 01/01/2010 20:12

8 years is nothing in relationship! good luck to you!

skatpot · 01/01/2010 20:20

I am almost 43 & 8 years older than my DP.

Shoshe · 01/01/2010 20:22

I'm 10 years older than DH, been married 10 years, he was 26 I was 36 when we actually met 14 years ago, and I was already a grandmother, while he had no children.

muminthemiddle · 02/01/2010 13:31

Doesn't sound like a big gap to me either.

MaggieMnaSneachta · 02/01/2010 13:36

does he have children? if he doesn't, and he's still harbouring a fantasy that he will marry a 35 year old and have two children in quick succession and be a traditional family, then id be cautious.

but if he has children and doesn't want anymore, OR if he takes 100% responsibility for not having children then I think the age gap will not matter.

autumnlight · 03/01/2010 12:03

I am ten years older than my H. We have been married ten years, and I hate to be negative, but he has used this fact as a weapon against me for ten years - so I spent my forties being told I was too old, saggy, past it, too old for him. I am now 49 and when we married I was only 38 and I know I looked good for my age back then. Probably if I had not been able to give him two wonderful children, he would have used that against me as well.

autumnlight · 03/01/2010 12:05

I realise mine is a negative experience and age has been one of the many ways my H has kept me insecure. I am sure if your man is nice and loves you, age will not matter.

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