Anyone got any tips to help me move on from dodgy situation?

[howstupidisthis]

I have name changed for this as I feel a bit of a twit but it is getting me down. I have been single since my divorce and about a year ago met a man through work. I can only describe our first meeting as like being struck by a thunder bolt and have never been able to get him out of my head since. We work together, get on really well, he says I am the one person who thinks like he does and we have a lot of fun working together. Neither of us has ever made a move, I wouldnt ever anyway as he is married with kids, but he is in my head a lot of the time and men I have dated just dont seem as interesting or as attractive (he isnt brad pitt but he just has this effect on me!?). We have spent a year working together at times circling each other like caged tigers. He has kissed me a couple of times, more friendly than anything else. Have never kissed him back, I wouldnt dare as I dont want to go where it might lead. I feel that if i dont get him out of my head I may never have a real relationship anywhere else. Anyone got any tips? changing my job not really an option ATM

You are utterly mad to ever contemplate getting involved with a married colleague.

Get some other interests!

I am not comtemplating it at all, and never contact him out of work or about anything non work related. Just need to get him out of my head.

on line dating?

it's lust/fantasty, really I would try and meet a few other men and fall for one of them!

doing on line dating ATM. but am finding it hard work and dont meet anyone who I seem to fancy. I think I have got stuck working with someone I have a real connection to and that I am never going to have a relationship with - i just wouldnt do it

I think when you're working with people you can get to know them, find out what makes them tick without all the stresses of having a relationship hence why it's difficult to get him out of your head.

Meeting him with his wife and all our kids would probably be a good one as I dare say we would all no doubt get on and it would put him in a different light to the rather unusual world we work in. Cant see it happening as we live hours away - fortunately - so will never bump in to each other outside of work

You need something to think about other than romantic relationships, which are not that important anyway (despite the myth that a woman's life is meaningless without one). What other things interest you or excite you? SPort, art, music, campaigning for a cause?

Sorry, I haven't got much to add except well done for keeping your head and dignity.

... although may I ask why and how he kissed you?! Is he stringing you along? If there's any hint of that, that's the exit for your feelings, as it's a bloody cynical thing to do. If not... hmmm, there must be some other way out.

Thanks for your advice. Its not that i have an empty life without a relationship. I am really sporty, have a demanding job, two lovely kids and lots of friends. I just seem to have got myself into a situation where I work with someone with a real spark. He kissed me when we were working on a project together and we had just done a spectacularly good job. I was rather surprised, I dont normally kiss my colleagues, unless I know them really well. I have dropped a couple of jobs recently so we are not working quite so close together.
I think my new years resolution must be to move on and clear my head

It is not easy- got that T shirt.
Maybe you simply have to keep repeating the mantra- "married, married, married. Can't have him."

Yes, and he should be trying to clear his head, too, distance himself. If not, why not, as he is actually married (whereas you are single, so your affections are free).

Good for you keeping up your side, but hopefully you can also rely on him to do some of the work of disentanglement, making it easier for you. Good luck.