Have namechanged for this but am regular. We went thru something like this, but it was due to to other pressures - I felt resentful @ fulltime job, no help with childcare, responsibilty for house etc felt totally unappreciated. He works long hours - got to the point where I was going to be deliberately before he got home from work so as not to ahve to talk to him, so much more than just sex - communication between us broke down completely, and he also felt unappreciated. He would go off to play sport @ weekends and the only convos we had were about arrangements for the DC - we might as well have been separated.
I contemplated an affair with someone who made it obvious he fancied me, I dithered, then I found out that DH was having an affair. I was not entirely suprised, had suspected it, and didn't think I cared. But the shock of it being true made me realise I DID care. We both then talked honestly about how we felt and what pressures we were under. He ended the affair immediately, said it was fizzling out anyway, more than just sex, because she listened to him & laughed with him - he was totally honest I think.
So I explained just a few things he could do that would make me feel better, and that night we started being nicer to each other.
Was only a month ago (!) so not counting chickens, BUT just things like he doesn't criticise my driving, takes the kids out so that I can - do nothing - brings me a cup of tea every morning, no longer blames me for him losing his sports bag etc - I know this may sound just normal for most people, but for us it is complete new relationship I appreciate that this is a bit more extreme than your situation OP, but strangely, just the being nicer and laughing together has made me feel sexier. We go out without the kids (I always used the excuse of no babysitter to avoid nights out, I now realise) and I sometimes wear no underwear, and tell him when we get there. I know that may sound corny, cheesy contrived, but to see him excited makes me excited. (You would not belive the expression on his face the first time I did that - not like my normal behaviour )
And its true what the others have said, when you start doing it more often, you want it more.
We now hug each other to sleep and awake as well, which I know he could not do with OW as they did not spend the night. (Obviously do feel some insecurity re OW, have not asked details, but concentrate on positive aspect of what he can do with me - eg not use condoms - that he could not do with her.