Brac and Hvar

[Catoutofthebag]

I remember Adrian leaving the flat with a book of poetry in his top pocket.

Our engagement was obviously not going well.

Poor Jane picked up the baton.

While he shimmied amongst his media pals I went to do a piece about carrots.

He always was destined for a stellar career - being 'ruthlessly ambitious' and all that.

Naughty! lol

Frankie, I have beans. I might spill.

I need the cash after all

'My nights of passion with 5-a nite-Ade....'

Um not exactly. He sweated like a pig. He was fat. He was heavy. He waved a full condom in front of my face.

I got the hell out of there

There is an old saying in the meeja: be nice to people on the way up, because you might meet them on the way down

Daily Mail's gossip editor presumably pissed under the baubles. Thank god. It was always going to be a bit dangerous posting this. Bracing walks in posh parts of london hopefully mean she aint reading nd it will fade along with adrian's push-bruises

"He waved a full condom in front of my face".

How erotic..

Erotic It was Not.

Sweaty fat man waving his sperm.

He said 'you are not coming near this' like it was the elixir of life

Has your leg healed adrian?

Is your mum still shacked up with your cheating scaffolding father?

How is the man you left for dead in a ditch in france?

and do you still have the collection of postcards from your cycling trips that you sent to yourself? (yawn)

pass the gnocchi