should i let dad bring his girlfriend to see dd?

[ilovetochat]

dd is 2.5 and my dad visits me and dd weekly while dp is at work. he once told dp he prefers to visit while dp is out so me and dad can talk more.
dad has had 10+ girlfriends that i have met in the last 10 years plus numerous i havent met.
the last one he was with 2 years, dd met her and got to know her a bit and started to call her nanny which we all discouraged, then they split.
a month ago dad was single and saying he would be lonely at xmas.
now he has a girlfriend and doesnt know when he can visit as he wants to see her everyday and doesnt want to leave her alone to visit us.
dp says just tell him to bring her.
im reluctant to have starnge woman visiting constantly, its my dad we are talking about, not just a random friend and dd is getting older and i dont want her getting attached and then missing someone every few momnths/years.
should i just let his bring her and say this is grandads friend?
he has a tendancy to hold these girlfriends hands etc.

oh dear, can you just say this is grandad's friend and when they have gone say that grandad has lots and lots of friends.

Could you not talk to him about how you feel? Your feelings are completely justifiable.

i had many 'aunties' that were my ucnles GFs and it didn't make me a loon or anything

i too had an uncle who brought a different aunty each year and i did find it strange but grandads are closer in a way ad i dont want dd to think these woman are her nanys and then they disappear.
he is so engrossed with this woman he has known weeks that he cant have an hour with his only grand daughter.
i could say she is his friend but he likes to show off being tactile and lovey dovey etc. yuk! he forgets im his daughter and dont want to know.
he has sent cards to friends/family (not me) with a picture of them on, gross.

I was thinking let him bring her, your DD will learn about casual friendships, the gf is most unlikely to be a psycho etc, until you said about the mushy stuff. That is not appropriate behaviour in front of a child, or actually in front of you. There's a line between romance and tackiness and he's way over on the tacky side, by the sound of it. Isn't it about time he grew up?

Mentioned this to a passing DS who suggested maybe your dad is, on some level, deliberately showing off the gf and his loviness to you, the daughter, for validation or something. Like it's not real unless he's got witnesses? Not that it matters what's going on in his head, it's his life etc. You only have to worry about what's going on in your house.

If it were me I would let him bring her BUT I would also make it very clear that until/unless he marries one of his GF's they are NOT to be called Nanny. I would also ask him to please respect my home/my rules and keep the visit about visiting his Grand daughter and not to show us all how much he likes his latest GF, but then I'm a stroppy cow at best and my family would expect that kind of thing from me

He´s known her a month & wants to bring her?
I´d say no tbh.

He´s a bit too old for the "can´t be apart for 5 mins" isn´t he?

And he would rather be with her than visit you?

Lovely!

Don't know whether this idea is any good or not, but I was wondering whether there is anywhere outside the house where you might be going with your dd in the next few days - a park - shopping centre or something - and arrange for your dad to pop by and join you at a cafe or similar for a cuppa and a chat - he can bring the g/f if he wants to - the fact that this is a public place makes it all a bit less intense for everyone concerned.

well dad phoned xmas day and wished us happy xmas and then boxing day i phoned but he wasnt home, sunday i phoned and invited him round but he wanted to tidy the house before gf came back and today he has left a message saying he is free after 10 wed so it seems i really do have to fit round this new woman.

he has no friends and very little family so he has seen noone this xmas except gf.

oh well.

I'd be happy with my dad or brother or friend bringing new girl/boy friends to meet my kids if they were younger. They're my family and I should respect their feelings as much as I respect that of my kids. I agree that learning not all girlfriend/boyfriends last forever is part of life. I would tell your dad you don't want girlfriend referred to as nanny etc, not clear who started this trend off with the last girlfriend, but I'd make sure you put your daughter right if she goes down the nanny road again.
Just because something doesn't last forever it doesn't mean you can't have fun whilst it lasts.
Should small children only be exposed to prolonged monogomy so they don't get the "wrong idea" or something?
You're quite a reactionary lot.
Let her meet grandad's friends, just make it clear what she is to call them and no granny unless they get wed.