Sister = Aspergers = What can I do??

[MunsterMonster]

I am so frightened for my sister's future.

She is 15 and a lovely girl but rather than acting like a 15 year old, she is more like an 8 year old. Infact, my 8 year old son refuses to "Play" with her as she's too "babyish".

It is OBVIOUS there is something wrong. We all think aspergers but because one Pysc said "no" my mum will not pursue it.

The girl is around 5.8" and weighs 14 stone. She has to be forced into the shower and still cannot wash her hair properly. My mum has to do it for her.

She is currently showering around once a week.

She has NO friends. And I mean, NO friends.

No hobbies.

No interests.

Never leaves her bedroom unless its for school and half the time she has to be forced to do that.

If she is in a talkative mood, she will rattle on and on and on about retro game consoles such as sega master system etc but she does NOT notice when people are bored of her. One time she spoke for an hour straight about Mario without a pause.

She carries around certain fluffy toys. Kisses, hugs and speaks to them.

She refused to do work experience with school but says she will go to college. However, she's never been out of the house by herself before.

She sits ALL DAY listening to the universal studios logo on youtube on repeat.

It goes on and on ... I'm so worried about what will become of her.

For instance ...

"Hey Sarah, do you have a boyfriend yet?"

"OH MY GOD! HOW DISGUSTING! I would never have a boyfriend, that is just disgusting. we'd have to have sex and all that! I don't think so! mum and dad has sex you know .. " etc ... she's 15!

Its obvious she won't go to college. What will become of her? my mum is practically giving up, she's never been the maternal type but I'm so worried

Could it be Prader Willi?

Munster- is there any way you could take her to the gp (not sure if you can) or would she tell her mum straight away??

If you can get a diagnosis it would be a great help, theres no saying she can't go to college, she may be different but a lot of people with Aspergers are very bright (dd1 is good at maths and english, some are great at solving problems or music), with a diagnosis she could get help at school, if your mum pushed for it your sister could get help without a diagnosis.

I think you need to sit down and talk to your mum, tell her you are willing to take your sister to the GP and make sure the GP listens.

Dd1 can rattle on for hours about her favorite subjects (dinosaurs, computers), she can also watch the same the tv program or advert over and over. Luckily dd1 was diagnosed at the age of 4 so the school are aware of her needs.

Hi Munster

My dd is 9 and has a diagnosis of Asperger's -a lot of what you are saying rings alarm bells for me.

Just because one psyc rules out AS, doesn't mean that he/she is correct. My dd was misdiagnosed for months and we had to fight to get her difficulties recognised.

I really feel for you because I also worry about dd's future, but help is out there. Have you contacted the National Autistic Society www.nas.org.uk/?

They are an absolute fount of knowledge and support.

Also, it may be worth asking her school to do a referral to CAMHS (or whatever your local adolescent mental health team is) or her GP could do the same.

Good luck, I really hope you can find a way forward with this.
The best advice I got at the beginning of dd's dx process was to become a 'squeaky wheel' if you want to be listened to.

Your sister is very fortunate to have such a caring and supportive sibling x

Could you get in touch with your local CAMHS? my DD is being tested for AS through them. What does the school say?

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Many Doctors/Specialists/Psychologists don't understand the way Asperger's can manifest in females and you MUST get your Mum to understand this and press for another consultation. I don't know of any book titles or websites, but why not try Googling terms like 'female Asperger's checklist' and so on and seeing how they fit with your sister (it does sound very likely she is on the spectrum, from your description) and then showing your Mum anything interesting or helpful you find. You could also try finding out names of Psychologists, etc., who specialise with females with Asperger's and Autism and see if you could contact them.

Your DSis is lucky having you to care about her like this - it sounds really worrying. However, is she unhappy? Just because her situation would be hell for you, is she actually unhappy with all her little routines and comforts? But good luck finding out more and helping her.

Thank you for the replies. My sister was reffered to Camhs last year but TBH, I'm not sure what happened there. I know they sent her on a trip with a load of other kids (one of whom tried to steal the bus!!) and she came back terrified and in tears. My mum refused to have anything to do with them after that.

The school is useless, its the worst in the city and they have a hard enough job keeping teachers from being beaten up by students to be getting involved in a "special needs case".

My sister is intelligent, I have researched autism and aspergers at great length and I know there is no impact on intelligence. Infact, my 8 year old asked me this morning "So and so said that Einstein had 'artism', what is that? does it mean they have mental problems?"

I replied "no, AUTISM means a person's brain works slightly differently to most peoples, that's all".

I just want to help her but my hands are tied. If I took her to doctors my mum would throw a hissy fit and assume I was saying she wasn't looking after her properly etc

this book might help, i don't have it but i have Tony Attwoods other book and i have found it very useful, maybe you could get your mum to read it and then she may realize that your sister is on the spectrum.

Aspergers is harder to diagnose in girls as they learn/adapt to hide some of the traits.

Does it upset her that she has no friends, does she realize that she is not like other 15 year olds?