Is this a sign of cheating?

[sharon137]

Hi all - I have not posted on here before, I am usually on the Pregnancy thread - 32 weeks with first baby.
I live with my partner of six years in a house we bought together at the start of 09, we were both thrilled about the pregnancy, and have a great relationship, get on well, best friends, lots of affection etc. There has not been much sex at all lately, which I do worry about, but I figured he could be concerned because I am preg, uncomfortable about doing it, etc - plus to be honest I have not been feeling particularly sexy either!
Anyway - I work from home and today he forgot to take his phone to work. I picked it up and looked through his inbox and sent texts - I dont know why, I wasnt feeling suspicious, I am just nosy! I found a text to a woman whose name I recognise, she is a friend of friends but I have not met her, sent yesterday afternoon, saying "Hey lovely would love to see you tonight if thats ok". She replied "Definitely would love that xx"
This was followed by him texting me to say he had to do something for work and would be a bit late home. So that is a definite lie, I know that, but the thing is he gets pot from this woman so I am not surprised he didnt want me to know he was going there - he doesnt smoke much, but I dont like him smoking at all really. It is the "hello lovely" and the kisses that make me feel ill.. But of course I cant really say anything as I was snooping in the first place... What do you all think???

It's open to interpretation. But I'd say he is feeling a bit guilty about dropping in for his pot collection.

Most dealers like a smoke, paid for by the buyer - so she will love that.

The kisses xx are used all over the place. My partner even gets one from his mates sometimes!!

I can see why you would jump to conclusions but unless he is a robot, he will have different ways of speaking to different people.

The "Definitely" bit could well just be drugspeak for "Yeah, I'm in, and i've got stash", though- I wouldn't get too worked up about that on it's own.

Maybe he just wanted to pick up some weed but didn't want you to know in case you got cross. If you are supposed to be buying things for the baby, maybe he thought you would get annoyed if you knew he was spending money on unnecessary things.

Hi all, thanks for all your help! i did bring it up last night, I started by saying I looked at your phone and he said, Oh did you? in a very casual way, as if I had said, I had a sandwich for lunch - I asked him about the texts and he seemed a bit puzzled and said basically what a lot of you here were saying - he couches the texts in things like "coming to see you" or "shall we meet for coffee", and he actually seemed surprised that I brought it up and really think it was a bit cute that I was in a bit of a tizz about it.(I believe I said her texting kisses to him made me want to scratch her eyes out, which made him laugh..) He gave me a big cuddle and told me I am the only one for him and he has nothing to hide.
He apparently DID go and do a job beforehand, which was near her house.. So I was overreacting of course, and now feel a little embarrassed about it all.. but of course, enormously relieved.

That is great! Did you mention the skincare stuff behind the piano? Don't. Just to give you extra peace of mind, leave that one. Hopefully you will be given it xmas day and all will be well

TBH I hope he is now being honest with you. I would still wait and see if you get the skincare for Xmas.

Men can be fantastic at deceiving you and making you feel the daft one in order to hide their cheating - I confronted my ex about 4 times about a particular girl over several months and every time was left feeeling as if I was the daft one foe even suggesting it, they had an affair for a year before I eventually found out.

Really hope I am wrong and you have a better man than my ex

I did not mention the skincare, but before I brought up the phone thing he saw I was in a quiet mood, and he thought I was feeling blue because we are having a very low-key Xmas, and I am usually one to go all-out for Xmas - because he said, "you know, I have bought you a few things for Christmas, and remember how wonderful next year will be with the baby".. So I will wait and see, but I am pretty confident he is telling the truth. Will report back!

its nice to hear that your suspicions were unfounded, its a rare thing these days!

have a lovely xmas

glad it's sorted...

but wtf is your piano doing in your garage????

Haha, it's converted into a music room, has a computer in there, piano, drums, guitars etc... There is no room in the actual house for all the music stuff we have..
Thanks passmyglassplease - you too!

Oh good, some good news. Hope you can have a relaxing Christmas!

oh good. glad you're treating your piano well. as you were....

Glad all is well- merry christmas to you both- tell him to have a big doobie for us

so how was christmas and what happened to the skin care goodies next to the piano?

i hope all went well!

bump

Hello - all went well, skincare stuff was amongst my presents - to "make me feel pretty", apparently he does some printing for the lady who makes this organic skincare and he got her to put together some pampery stuff. Phew! So relieved!
Thanks so much for all your advice, and I hope you all had lovely Christmasses too

Fantastic, I'm really pleased this turned out well!