DH is such a push-over with our DDs - I really need him to back me up when disciplining them.

[sandyballs]

I always seem to end up the bad guy whilst he shines in their eyes.

A recent example - DD wrote her name in biro on the leg of her new brownie trousers, in large letters. I can't get it out so I have told her that the £5 pocket money she gets every week from her grandparents is to go to me until we have enough for a new pair. She's nearly 9 FGS, not 3.

DH thinks this is far too harsh . I want to teach DD that she needs to look after things and they are easily replaced without any thought for the money involved.

why buy a new pair?

she drew on them, so she wears them as they are til she grows out of them?

if she embrassed then she will learn right?

(or she forfeits pocket money)

I entirely empathise.

I have come to the conclusion that Daddy's are soft; and I will always be Bad Cop to his Good Cop.

I know I resent that. Really, really resent that.

All I do is nag, bitch and tell off. I'm fed up with it. It's not who I am.

10 year old DD has gone backwards, has also drawn on walls, got marker pen on uniform, started to demolish meals with her fingers instead of cutlery...... backwards instead of forwards. She had better table manners at 3.

I keep telling myself that if I didn't care I wouldn't do anything; the reason I nag is because I care about how she's brought up.

It doesn't help. I resent my constant bitching, snipping, nagging, shouting.

DH is no-where near as strict as I am.

same here. but the thing is that my DH cannot seem to grasp that DS should go to bed BEFORE he is a shattered pain in the bum. don't wait until the shit hits the fan. put him to bed earlier. (Oh and just to explain a little : DH does the bed time thingy with DS and I do, well, everything else, pretty much!)

47, exactly the same here.

DD aged 10 kicked DH on Sun (not at all normal behaviour for DD, but in her defense I have just been in hospital for a while with DS as he was seriously injured and now he is home EVERYTHING - according to her - is about him and she is angry at everyone) and he waited until I walked into the room some minutes later and told me about it, then I had to tell her off.

Sandy, I'd go for the wearing them with biro tbh - it is a consequence of her behaviour. (and wow at £5 per week pocket money!)

I'm with you on this - dh just overstimulates him, doesn't feed him properly and when he's had enough passes him over to me. cheers.

Ah glad to see I'm not alone. Frustrating isn't it. I didn't think about letting her wear them as they are, she would hate that just as much as losing pocket money so might try it. They do look awful though.

I'm not keen on the £5 pocket money either but it's from DH's parents and everyone seems to think I'm really odd when I dare to suggest that it is far too much for a couple of 8 year olds. Quite often I will take it and save it for them but DH prefers to take them to the shops and let them buy a shed load of tat and sweets instead. As, yet again, that makes him look like fun happy kind daddy, versus grumpy evil mummy who doesn't let them do a thing.

you are not alone

I have spent many years "training" DH to be a more strict parent, who is confident in his decisions. He used to be very soft, would back down and let the kids take the piss, basically

he is much better than he was, and we always back each other up whatever

however, I still think we do the good cop, bad cop thing and the dc's (who are older now) will always ask him first if they think they will get a better response

FWIW, I think the writing on uniform thing is "not on" and your punishment was completely appropriate

My problem is similar. Although DH will tell the DCs off he will question me in front of them if he's not sure it's appropriate, whereas I never ever do this even if I don't agree with him. Consequence is that DS will go and ask him of he can have something when I've already said no. Makes me very

And don't get me started on the winding them up close to bedtime...

I don't think your punishment is too harsh- Brownie uniform is bloody expensive for what it is! You could give her the choice of wearing them and being embarrassed, or coughing up her pocket money.
And have a sit down with your DH and tell him how undermined you feel!