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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

frenemy

3 replies

kellise · 21/12/2009 11:54

I have recently gone back to work follwing maternity leave and as much as I love my job I really would rather be a SAHM; though this time around (2nd DC) its been a little easier as the person who acted up in my job is also now on mat leave so I haveny had to deal with her as last time she made things very difficult for me in the sense that I had to fight for my position in the dept as she had gotten very big headed about where her position was after doing my job.
I do get on very well with this person socially but she tends to let me down time and time again and whilst I am her superior at work she plays on our friendship & as a result (my fault as i am soft) she tends to get away with doing the bare minimum and look like shes doing a cracking job as I am carrying her, added to this she has pratically said to me many times that she competes with me!
long and short of it is I dont want to work with her when she comes back at all made worse by the fact that I want to stay with my children.
I need to get tough but I dont know if I have the fight in me as I feel my job is just a job now as DC's and DH are my priority now not my career, though I need to work I cant be arsed with it all but at the same time dont want to lay down and let her walk all over me I really need to feel positive about it as its going to be at the back of my mind all christmas, how can I stop being manipulated by this person? Please give me some words of wisdom, or a kick up the arse which ever!!

OP posts:
LoveBeingAMummyKissingSanta · 21/12/2009 11:57

Stop worrying about someone who is not even there and who might not even come back. Focus on what you want to do and do it well.

SleighBelleDameSansMerci · 21/12/2009 12:02

And stop carrying her. You are validating her feelings of superiority by doing this. Think about yourself and your family first. In this economic climate you can't afford to be soft. You don't have to be ruthless either but why spend your time supporting someone who is clearly taking advantage and is not even grateful.

That said, her priorities might change too...

lovemyangels · 29/12/2009 09:58

I am in the same position but my collegue is one of my best friends and i miss her dearly! Not the same as you though I do have other collegues who i dont get on too well with, that said i see them as just that not friends, whati am saying is maybe you need to seperate work collegues from friends as you say you get on well with this person socially!

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