Getting concerned about my niece

[dejavuaswell]

I am getting concerned about my brother's daughter.

When the two families meet up, which we do several times a year, all we seem to hear about is my nephew who is currently in his second year at university. For years we had the stories of how he was "gifted and talented" but my niece, now in year 12, got far better GCSE's than her big brother but she never seems to get a mention.

I really feel that my brother is being unfair and almost unkind to his daughter but I don't know what to do about it.

How does your niece feel about it?

that does sound awfully unfair, but unfortunately it happens often in families

either have a word with your brother or have your niece over on her own for weekend and have a chat with her.....its probably nothing your brother may not even realise he's doing it!

I had a lovely chat to her in the pub during lunch. She feels a bit like the "invisible woman" was how she put it.

I think she wants some quality time with her Dad and isn't getting it as far as I can see.

what does her mum say? does she 'stick up' for your niece?

when you meet up with your db - everytime he mentions his ds, you ask a question about your dn!

keep doing it, tit for tat but quitely - perhpas he will get the message?

Yes, and make sure your DN knows you see her and appreciate her. You can't replace her father, but you can make sure she gets the positive adult attention that she deserves.

I decided to have a word with my brother. He really didn't appreciate that there was a problem but has promised me that he will be a lot more careful in future.

I hope so.

An update - I had a word with my niece at a family gathering and she told me that things were much better with her Dad especially since her brother failed his Easter university exams.

That is such a shame that her brother has to fail his exams to get any attention.

Well done, let's hope they both go on to do well, be happy and receive the love and attention they both deserve.

This kind of thing is precisely the reason I live on the other side of the world from the rest of my family. At some point your niece might just get really fucked off with the whole situation and distance herself. It's done me a world of good not to have to hear how well certain people are doing constantly and to be able to focus on my own (and my own little family's!) achievements.