I have a friend, she's chatty, intelligent, opinionated, has had interesting experiences in her life - she could be an interesting and fun person to be with. However, every conversation ends up being about her misfortunes. I don't doubt that there has been (and still is) a lot of tough and unpleasant stuff going on in her life, even though I generally only ever get her side of the story. But I'm not sure I can take all this harping on and on about it all the time.
She knows - she's told me so! - that she keeps driving friends away because of her negativity. She feels very isolated. But I've seen her sitting at a table of chatting women, waiting for 'her turn', with her face getting sulkier and sulkier. Within a short while of her begining to monopolise the conversation, the others begin to glaze over and eventually leave the table.
I wish I could help her stop. She has the potential to be the person she wants to be again - even if only at the times she is socialising, and not at the times she has to deal with ongoing issues. And surely getting some pleasure out of life would help deal with those issues?
But can you change a person?