Really looking for some advice. In brief, have been married to dh for 10 years. We are different nationalities. I met him in my home country and we moved to his country where our first 2 children were born. I was very homesick so we moved back to my country for a few years. Our third child was born in my country. Didn't work out for various reasons, mostly because he couldn't hack life there. I realised early on in our return to my country that it wasn't going to work out for us and that our marriage would flounder if we didn't move back to his country. We have moved back since August of this year and so far things are going ok relative to a huge move etc. and all the stresses that brings. We have had our issues over the years, mostly down to very poor communication. I'm a communicator. He's not. We have attended marriage counselling with limited success. We have very little in the way of a sex life which is a real lack for me but he doesn't seem to care. He seems very unaware on a weekly basis what is going on with me and the kids, ie Dr's appointment/test results for me (I have an auto-immune conditions) and never asks/remembers about my daughter's tutoring sessions (new school curriculum which she needs help on). In short I feel we have an okish marriage with peaks and troughs of when we are getting on and when we're not. Before moving back here we had some discussions on some expectations that I had, one of which was that we would have a family christmas in our own house every year. A month or so ago I reiterated my wish to have a family Christmas and dh mentioned he would like to spend it with his family who live an hour away. He backed off once I expressed my disappointment. At this time we also discussed the possibility of his family coming over on 26th for a celebration. At a later time I extended an invitation to members of his family for the 26th.
My mother is visiting at the moment and has extended her stay beyond the original 2 week planned stay due to a fall which resulted in a fractured pelvis.
DH and I have not been getting on too well this week and I thought it would be nice for us to go out to dinner tonight once the kids were in bed so we could spend some time together and my mum could babysit. Before we left the house he said that he thought that it would be too stressful to have Christmas at home with my mother being incapacitated and that we should spend it with his family. When I objected he then said he hadn't spent Christmas with his family for 4 years. We left to go to dinner and sat in the car and I lit into him while sitting in the driveway. I was so angry after everything we had discussed about moving here etc. He called me a fucking selfish bitch and again that he hadn't spent christmas with his family for 4 years. He also talked roared about how I would create such stress while preparing dinner etc. He then stormed off and when I came into the house he left for a few hours and came back at 10 and went straight to bed.
So now I'm in the position where I feel all the good has been taken out of the Christmas I so wanted to make for us in our new house. The venom and anger that he exuded towards me was enormous.
So the title of my thread is about second guessing myself. He would have me believe that this is all my fault and that in fact he is a wonderful husband who I don't appreciate.