Will I ever get over him???

[namechanger555]

I know it sounds stupid but I still feel that I love exp who is my little ones dad.

He is an arse and has done so many bad things to me, including: cheating, volience, not sorting out contact with dc and just being useless. So there is no reason why I would want to be with him, but I do...

I think now that xmas is coming I miss him, he is always on my mind.

I need to get my life on track and get him out of my mind. I have seen a counsellor. She told me I need to grieve the end of the relationship. But I dont know how. If I ever feel sad about us not being together I manage to turn it into anger or hate for him. Then when I calm down again I miss him.

Thats why we spent years breaking up and getting back together as I never learned how to get over him.... But I do really want to stop it and move on...

Any tips welcome. Or if anyone could suggest a interesting book. Not stuffy boring ones...

the one I've ordered is called Why do They do That by Lundy Bancroft, and its always being mentioned on here. I found mine on Amazon for about £6 inc p&p.

I have just 'left' an emotionally abusive partner (and dd's dad) and I found it really hard with all the festive couply stuff going on x

Just wanted to add, I think it's really the future we'd imagined for ourselves that we have to grieve over, not the person, and I think that's what you're yearning for. hth x

Thank you for the replys. I completely agree, it is the future I imagined for myself and dd that is the loss to me, and not really exp himself. As I really could not stand him for too long anyway.

Have you already read that book? Did you find it helpfull? I think I will give it a try....

i haven't read it yet as it's not arrived! Well worth the risk of being a waste of £6 tho I reckon