Practicalities of separation

[proudmummyof1]

Hi all, I'm a lurker who hasnt posted before but could really do with some practcal advice. My husband and I have been having problems for some time we have a beautiful 4 year old daughter but I feel like a single mum of two children. My husband has a well paid, stressful job and believes that this entitles him to live like a single man. I work 2 days a week and do all of the childcare, housework, financial stuff etc. I have previously asked him to move out as I dont like the person who he has become, but he has refused. Things have finally come to a head and I have made the decision that our marriage is over. We live in Scotland, where he is from but I would like hime to move out and once the house is sold I would like to move back to my home town for family support (approx 300 miles away). Please can someone advise how to deal with all of the financial implications & practicalities for when he has moved out and also the name of a good family solicitor in the Fife/Edinburgh area. Sorry this is so long...loads more to add but not sure what else to say. I feel sad but relieved to have made the decision.
Thanks in advance

That's really brave of you. I'm going through very similar, but moving in the opposite direction (we might meet in the middle!)

I'd ask around locally for recommendations, or just book some consultations and see who you like. It took me 4 appointments before I decided on my solicitor, someone who had the right balance of experience, nice approach and potential to be tough if required (H is likely to be a tricky customer).

I think once that's sorted, you can organise finances from there. At the moment I'm in the family home, and H is continuing to pay as normal. He's staying with family though so we haven't got any other outgoings, I think things will change very soon when we need to find new accommodation each.

Have you told your H of your decision yet?

Thanks for your reply, I'm sorry to hear that you are having similar problems. I have previously asked my husband to leave but he has refused this. I've spoken to the CAB and they have advised me that I must stay in the family home, my only alternative other than this would be to move back to my home town as I have no way of renting with my own funds. I dont really know anyone who is divorced and am reluctant to ask any of my close friends at this stage - I'm a very private person and dont really feel up to discussing things at the moment. My husband is refusing to talk to me other than by text, he has been staying with friends this week as he has had works functions and this has further aggrivated the situation - he cannot just have one drink and has to stay out until 4am which is one of the things I find unnaceptable. I did tell him by text last night that I wanted him to leave but he will assume as usual that he can talk me round by telling me what I want to hear - I need to be strong this time though as I cant imagine the rest of my life like this and really dont like the person he has become. He comes from a very broken home and has previously piled the guilt on to me that I will be splitting up our family - but we are not really a family any more. I really think that our daughter will be better off if we separated and that he would make the effort to see her, currently usually only on a weekend between working and gym classes and maybe one evening a week at bedtime. His mum is due to visit for christmas and i've asked him to tell her what is going on and ask her not to come, hopefully that will make it sink in for him. I dont get on with MIL at all and it has really been adding to my stress. Thanks for taking the time to respond, I'm off to google some local solcitors I have been reading some sites on the interent but am finding it all a bit hard to take in. Good luck to you in the future