Don't want sex as much as dp, he's making me feel really guilty for it

[Pawslikepaddington]

This is a bit candid, I'm sorry, but I just don't know what to do with him any more. We had a huge blow up row this morning about it and I'm at the point of telling him to leave for a while I'm so mad.

I'm a working mum, so by the time I'm getting into bed at 11pm I'm passing out until 7am as I'm exhausted. Dp comes to bed about 11.30, and by then I have no idea that he has even come to bed.

I keep waking up at 1am with him trying to rub himself against my hands, or my body, at which points he states that he wants sex, and am getting a bit fed up tbh.

He then gets really mad with me and tells me if I didn't leave him like this all the time he wouldn't have to, and then demands sex the next morning as it was my fault he couldn't sleep the night before.

In a "normal" situation we have sex every two days. I'm quite happy to go without for a week, but he isn't, so it keeps him quiet if we do. However at the moment he is wanting it every night and every morning, and guilt-tripping me into it. I'm fed up. I have asked him politely to perhaps find other ways of releasing tension but he refuses to do them, as he "prefers me". I can't go on like this, I am really starting to resent him, or even feel a bit like a hooker. We are reliant on his income and he has helped me with financial difficulties, so I feel like I owe him.

He is normally very sweet and nice, but this sex monster seems to have come out of nowhere.

He's being a shit! He should not be trying to guilt-trip you into so much sex, when you are already having more than most couples do!

Tell him that if he wants you to respect his needs for sex, you need to see him respect your needs for sleep and to have control over your own body first.

And that you need to not be being forced to make a choice between sex that you don't want, or a grumpy arse husband!

on your behalf!

How come he's not a exhausted as you? Is he not taking on 50% of hte resonsibilites? My DH was like this.

Recently I've been unable to do anything (post op) and he's been doing what i normally would be and let me tell you he's wreaked (and he's not even doing everything I'd have done each day either!)

I think the two of you need to talk about it frankly (not in the bed room or just after he's been trying for some!)

You don't 'owe' him anything - get some self-esteem, tell him you don't want it every night and he is free to pleasure himself without you.

Yes, also agree he should be as tired as you - get him to do his share of the chores.

Thank you. I thought I was being a bit precious . He empties the dryer onto a chair in the lounge, and empties and reloads the dishwasher occasionally, along with taking the bin out.

He's got the hump because I invited HIS friend over for dinner for the next few days as her grandad has just died, but she can't fly out to be with her family until Friday, and has no one in England for her at the moment, so he can't "get any" while I'm still awake. I feel like that is the only reason he wants me, as I owe him more than a normal girlfriend would because I have dd.

I'm growing a backbone as I speak. Thank you all so much for the wake up call-I was really quite happy on my own for 5 years before him, so have no need to feel like I owe him anything. I am a perfectly well balanced, capable woman, and have no reason to have him make me feel any different. Thank you all so much for giving me a good shake!

To continually pester and guilt trip someone into having sex they don't want is a form of sexual abuse. It's very serious, not just a bit of a pain.

This man is having sex with you without your active consent and he knows it. He believes that his desire for sex is more important than your right to say no. He does not believe you have a right to say no, because if he did, he would accept your no without question.

Pawslikepaddington, you don't have to put up with this. You don't owe him jack.

My exH wasn't quite as bad (didn't rub himself against me, eugh) but didn't take no for an answer, would pester me and question me until I gave in. It became normal, although unpleasant, until I eventually realised that nothing else we had between us was worth putting up with that sort of behaviour. I needed someone else to tell me it was abusive before I realised that it was. jeni7 is absolutely right, please don't put up with it. Nothing he can give you, or has given you in the past, or anything that you like about him, is worth putting up with this abuse for.