should i tell mom?

[stitch]

just had a moan on the phone to mom about dh. she says that part of the problem is my attitude, and i need to soften it towards him. but i havent told her the full extent of how nasty he has been to me. do i justify my behaviour and have her very upset and negative towards dh, or do i just let her assume it is all my fault?
i have no intention of leaving him. so is it better to let mom have a negative opinion of me, or of him?

Good luck lover-hunting on the school run - walking might be easier to spot potentials

he's not interested ncounselling. nor would he make the time, or pay for it. we are however on th elist for a saturday appointment.

Message withdrawn

I think the tensions or otherwise within a relationship are best kept between the couple involved and discussed there either with or without independent counselling (it is open to opinion as to where mn fits into that) but members of the family who only receive one side of the story can end up being turned on by both partners if the outcome of the relationship leads to blaming their advice.

If you are not happy in your relationship then you need to think hard about how to make it work and imagine yourself in the future...money of itself is not a rteason to split or stay together unless you place an exceptionally high value on material things.

sorry pruni, i meant that as a good thing, i have a lot of respect for my mom.
i must go and take ds2 to nursery now.
will chat later.

I think if you have no intention of leaving him, it's a bad idea to tell your mother bad stuff about him. It'll colour her attitude to him and her view of him (probably). And long term, if things get better in your relationship, you don't want a tension between a mother who doesn't think her SIL treats her little girl properly, and a bewildered DH who has no idea why MIL has become so frosty towards him in the last 5 years.

That's the use of this board - you can whinge about partners etc. in safety!

lemonice, part of the problem is that i place a very low value on material things. much much lower than he does!
eek, get me off here. ds is going to be late.....

Was just about to post what Caligula just said re suddenly frosty MIL!

Go away Stitch! Now!